


HomeBound

by lord_of_cats



Category: Homestuck, Mother 2: Gyiyg no Gyakushuu | EarthBound
Genre: Beta OT4, F/F, If you want - Freeform, M/M, MTF Jade Harley, Multi, Trans Female Character, basically homestuck characters in an earthbound au, bc we all need more of those
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-25
Updated: 2016-11-22
Packaged: 2018-08-24 15:08:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 34,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8376790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lord_of_cats/pseuds/lord_of_cats
Summary: When a meteor crashes down to earth, John Egbert and his neighbour Vriska Serket, set out to investigate. There, they meet Sollux Captor, a tiny alien from the future who enlightens John on his destiny to defeat the evil alien Giygas.So John sets off to gather the Eight Melodies of the Earth and unite the four chosen heroes.





	1. Chapter ONEtt

**Author's Note:**

> So this is basically and Earthbound AU but with the Homestuck characters. Ft John as Ness, Rose as Paula, Jade as Jeff, and Dave as Poo.  
> If you can, you should totally play EarthBound. It inspired so many things (including homestuck itself and undertale). You can get the hard copy on the SNES or buy it on virtual console Wii U/New 3ds.  
> (Also John being Ness may or may not be a subtle nod at spacepuck's sandlot/baseball au. bc I love that fic.)

Your name is John Egbert and you really, _really_ want to go to sleep.

But unfortunately, the entirety of the Onett Police Force is determined to not let that happen.

 

An hour or so ago, you heard a loud bang right outside your house. It caused quite the public commotion, so the Onett Police Force hurried to block the roads and stem the hubbub as they are prone to do.

You, being the curious thirteen year old that you are, wanted to go check it out. Unfortunately, Nanna had other plans. She told you to go to sleep and ignore the sirens and wailing outside.

Normally, you would have obeyed—she is your Nanna after all, and you love her—but you felt as if you _had_ to check it out. As if something was drawing you to investigate, as stupid and cliché as it sounds.

So you snuck out of your bedroom window, despite being on the second floor. You thought you were being cool and badass, sneaking around in the bushes and following the police officers. Unfortunately for you, they thought the exact opposite and you were escorted back to your house, into Nanna’s very disappointed arms.

You can hear her now, angrily hiss-whispering on the phone to your father. She’s not loud enough that you can hear every word clearly, but what isn’t muffled by the walls you can just make out. You think she’s crying a little, which makes your heart cramp up with guilt.

You feel bad about sneaking out and making Nanna worry, but like you said before, you had to do it.

 

A startlingly loud knock…startles…you out of your thoughts. You sit up in bed, blearily looking around your darkened room. Without your glasses, everything’s blurry and you can’t make out jack-shit.

Grumpily, you flump back down into your bed, pulling the covers over your head. Whoever is knocking at the door will go away soon. It’s probably just a police officer come to tell Nanna that ‘the crisis is over, you can rest in safety ma’am’.

But the knock comes again, this time accompanied by a voice.

“John! John, wake up! I know you’re awake! I saw you crawling around outside in your pyjamas like a weirdo!”

Ugh. It’s your neighbour, Vriska. She is your friend and all, but you really don’t want to deal with her at this time of night. But you know that she’ll just keep banging on your door until you indulge her.

So you better indulge her.

 

“Yeah yeah, I’m coming. Hold your fucking horses, Jesus.” You grumble, more to yourself than anything, seeing as she probably wouldn’t be able to hear you anyway.

Pushing the covers off, you sit up. Still grumbling, you put on your glasses and rub the sleep out of your eyes. You place your bare feet on the floor, scuffling them about to feel for your slippers. Begrudgingly, you trudge over to your bedroom door and head into the hallway outside.

“John! Did you hear that noise? It sounds like Vriska wants you for something.” Jane—your sister—greets you, dark head of hair a mess and cyan eyes crumpled up in tiredness.

“Um yeah, I can hear it. Obviously.” You grumble, pausing outside your doorway to stare at her.

“Well jeez!” She huffs, putting her hands on her hips. “I was just stating a fact. You don’t have to use that tone of voice with me mister.”

“Sorry Jane.” You set off down the hallway again, ruffling her hair as you pass her by. “Just too tired to deal with Vriska at the moment.”

“That’s understandable, with you sneaking off in the middle of the night to investigate the meteor and all those police sirens.”

“What!? A meteor? How do you know what it was? The police wouldn’t let anyone through their blockades!” You spin back around, staring at your sister with wide eyes.

Jane rolls her eyes. “It’s on the news silly. I, unlike you, prepare before investigating strange occurrences in the middle of the night.”

“So it was a meteor, huh?”

“Yep. It crashed right outside on the big hill. It’s still burning—if the bright lights shining into my bedroom window is any indicator.” She frowns a little and shoots a glare at her bedroom door. “Between that and all the police sirens, I haven’t been able to get any sleep.”

You’re about to question her further on the whole meteor thing, but the sound of angry stomping stops you.

“John! What took you so long? I had to talk to your grandma for like, ten minutes down there!” Standing at the top of the stairs with her arms crossed is Vriska Serket, your best friend and neighbour.

 

Unlike you, she’s completely awake and raring to go. Her long blonde hair is tied into a messy ponytail which goes all the way down to her belly-button. Her denim-overalls-and-white-shirt combo are clean, which is surprising, considering all the backyard adventures she forces you to partake in.

Her blue eyes are narrowed in annoyance, but you can sense something else there. Guilt? Fear? You don’t know, but it’s certainly not an expression Vriska Serket would normally wear.

 

“It wasn’t ten minutes Vriska, stop exaggerating.” You sigh, flicking your eyes up and down, giving her a once-over.

“Ugh, well it felt like it!” She rolls her eyes and flips her hair dramatically. All traces of guilt and/or fear are gone, replaced by steely determination. “Anyway, I need your help.”

“Really? I wouldn’t have guessed, what with all the banging at our door in the middle of the night and such.” You say dryly, folding your arms and putting all your weight on your right leg, so your left hip juts out. “Not to sound rude, but what do you want? I have a nice, cosy, warm bed I’d like to get back to.”

“Aranea’s gone missing.” Vriska sighed. Aranea is Vriska’s little sister. She’s…kind of a nerd, and will often tattle on Vriska when she’s playing with you and both of you will get in trouble. She’s generally dragged into Vriska’s schemes a lot, so you don’t doubt that Vriska dragged her off somewhere.

“And that’s my problem how?” It comes out a bit more scathing than intended, but you’re tired, so you don’t care.

“Because we’re best friends! And best friends help each other out when the other is in trouble! A.K.A me getting my ass beat by my parents!”

“How’d you lose her?” You cut her off before she can go on any longer and.

“What do you mean _I_ lost her?” Vriska takes a step back, tone mock-offended.

“Vriska. You were involved. You probably dragged her off to investigate something—the meteor—and then you lost her. So now you’ve come running back to me in hopes of finding her before your parents find out what you’ve done.”

“That’s not what happened!” She argues, narrowing her eyes. “ _She_ ran away from _me_. I tried to keep an eye on her, but she was too fast for me to catch. It’s not like I abandoned her there because I got scared or anything.”

“Riiight.” You sigh. “Well I know you won’t go away until I help you, so let’s go.” This could be your only chance to see the meteor—the police sirens have faded into the distance, so they’re probably back in Onett, eating donuts in their police station or something. You were going to go with Vriska and sneak around to see the meteor site anyway, but this makes everything easier. Killing two birds with one stone, so to speak.

“Great!” She perks up. “Come on John! Let’s go!” She rushes forward, grabs your arm and yanks you towards the stairwell. You make no protest. She does this kind of stuff often. It’s best to just let her do what she wants.

 

She practically drags you down the stairs and past your Nanna, who is still on the phone to your dad. At the sight of you, she startles. Cupping her hand over the phones receiver, she calls over to you and Vriska.

“Young lady, where are you taking my grandson at this time of night?”

“Exploring.” Vriska says without a trace of hesitation, despite it being a lie.

“Not dressed like that! He needs to get out of his pyjamas first.” Nanna points upstairs. For some reason, Nanna always lets you do whatever you want when Vriska is involved. Whatever the reason, you’re not complaining.

“Alright Nanna! Vriska, stay here, I’ll be back in a sec.” You carefully wiggle out of her tight grip and turn on your heel, ready to go back up to your room to change.

“Wait, John.” Nanna calls back.

“Yeah Nanna?” You turn back to face her. She smiles.

“There’s a Broken Hammer in your sisters room. I have a feeling it will greatly help you when you’re ‘exploring’.”

 

* * *

 

“Vriska! There you are! I was looking all over for you!” Aranea’s voice calls out from behind a bush. She emerges from her hiding place, hair and skin glowing softly from the light of the meteor.

“You mean where were _you_? I turned my back on you for _one_ second and suddenly you were gone! Mum and Dad were gonna kill me all because you decided to have your own little adventure…”

 

After the half-hour walk up the hill, you’ve finally made it to the top. Normally it would only take ten minutes, but your progress was somewhat halted by all the stray dogs, snakes and crows roaming around. Thank goodness Nanna made you take the Broken Hammer along, even though the handle fell off.

It’s quite nice this time of night—the stars are shining brightly above you, a soft breeze is blowing and the thick perfume of numerous flowers hangs in the air. All this is lit up soft orange by the great glowing meteor in the centre of it all.

While the Serkets argue loudly, you stare at the meteor. It seems to stare back at you, even though it doesn’t have eyes. The impact hole is actually pretty small for a meteor—which fits snugly inside it, like a glove.

A few fires are still burning around on the grass, adding happy little crackling noises to the sound of the Serkets arguing and an angry buzzing noise. Besides that, the night is quiet and still, as if holding its breath in anticipation.

Wait, angry buzzing noise?

 

“Ummm guys?” You call out to Vriska and Aranea. “Do you hear that?”

“Hear what?” Vriska frowns.

“The sound of a siblings betrayal?” Aranea mumbles under her breath.

“No no, that buzzing!” As you speak, it seems to magnify.

“Oh yeah, I hear it now. It sounds kinda like an angry bee.” Vriska says, sticking a hand over Araneas mouth. The three of you glance around nervously, trying to find the source of the noise. One by one, your gazes land on the meteor, realising that it’s the source of the noise.

As your gaze falls upon the meteor, it begins to shine brightly. A beam of light appears, shooting up into the sky, seemingly splitting the sky in two.

You have to blink several times to clear the spots on your vision. You avert your gaze from the beam as to preserve your remaining eyesight. The buzzing gets louder, bringing with it a cold and bitter wind. Clouds cover the sky, swirling around the beam of light in a spiral fashion. The earth itself seems to shake and tremble as the beam of light widens.

 

“I’m not a fucking bee.” A quiet, yet very irritated voice speaks up. It seems to come from in front of you, approximately where the meteor and beam of light should be.

Nervously, you crack open your eyes. Luckily the beam of light has faded. In its place flies a very small…creature.

Because the creature is so small, you can hardly make out any fine details. You can just make out a kind of metalloid body and a pair of grey wings beating furiously fast. They’re also shrouded in a mysterious red-and-blue light, so that complicates things a bit as well.

“Who are you?” You ask it dumbly, blinking slowly.

“I’m Sollux. I come from ten years into the future.”

“Oh that’s pretty cool!” You interrupt, earning yourself (what you think is) the equivalent of a glare.

“Let me finish.” Sollux snaps. “In the future, all is devastation. Giygas, the evil alien, has taken over the earth in an attempt to recall information that was once stolen from him. He has destroyed all that oppose him. All is chaos. All is destruction. Even now, in the past, his forces are strong. They possess humans and animals—corrupting them to do Giygas’s evil bidding. But! There is hope. There are rumours of four Chosen heroes—two boys and two girls—who will travel through time and put a stop to Giygas before it is too late.”

“Oh wow! That’s uh…a lot to take in.” You gulp.

“Well then.” Vriska steps up, pushing aside both you and Aranea. “Don’t worry, the Chosen Heroine will do her best to stop Giygas from destroying the world.”

Sollux fixes his glare on her. Although it is not directed at you, you can still feel the cold, harsh intensity of it. “Not you, Vriska Serket.” He spits out her name as if it is a curse on his tongue. “You will be part of the downfall of humanity, the bringer of the great apocalypse. You are definitely not one of the chosen four. But I have appeared before one of them tonight—the boy you so cruelly pushed aside, and his name is John Egbert.”

“Oh wow. Um jeez. Ok then. Are you sure?” You stare up at Sollux, flabbergasted.

“Yes. You’re everything I’d though the chosen hero to be—a fucking pushover. Now let’s go.” Sollux flies ahead, a loud buzzing following him as he flies.

“What! Hey!” You protest, hurrying after him. “Where are we going?”

 

“You’ll see—shit!!!” Sollux yells, cutting himself off.

You’re about to ask what he saw, but a bright, white beam just like the one Sollux came out of. An adult-human sized shape materialises in front of you, blocking the path down the hill.

While it may look humanoid, the figure was anything but.

Its body is covered in a hard, metallic covering. A curved…hand??? Tentacle??? Something??? Where its eyes should be (if it were a human, or any other species on this earth) is just an empty, black visor. Several black circles, rectangles and triangles in the shape of a crest are adorned on the right sight of its shiny metal chest.

“What is that thing!?” You yell, taking several steps back and bumping into an uncharacteristically quiet Vriska in the process.

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck!!! I thought I had more time than this! Goddammit! That sweaty asshole lied to me!!” Sollux shouts, blue and red lights flashing brighter and brighter as he shouts louder and louder.

“Sollux, what is that?” You yell again, stepping between the _thing_ and Aranea and Vriska.

Instead of replying (yet again) Sollux splays his hands out. Red and Blue diamonds shimmer around the four of you, protecting you from the thing outside. Cautiously, you reach forward to brush a finger against the barrier. Is this some kind of psychic shield?

 

“ **Sollux Captor.** ” The thing…the _Starman_ , booms. “ **You are in violation of Rule Number 413—No speaking of the Chosen Four.** ”

“It’s a bit late for that! I’ve already alerted the Chosen One to his destiny—to stop Giygas from rising to power. So you can fuck right off!” Sollux yells, raising his right hand. A blindingly white light erupts from his palm and thunders towards the Starman. Upon making contact with the Starmans shoulder, a tiny chunk of ice forms.

“ **Emergency! Emergency! Multiple aggressive enemies sighted! Activating PK Fire Omega to dispel threat!** ” As the Starman booms this out, a ferocious red light begins hurtling towards you. Behind you, you can hear Aranea’s whimpers and Vriska’s ragged breathing. Everything seems to slow down as the red light burns up everything in its path. You watch in horror as the daisies and buttercups you had so longingly looked at before burst into flames. You close your eyes, bracing for impact.

But the flames don’t hit.

Instead, the blue and red diamonds from before shimmer back into life, dissipating the fury of the flames.

But although you, your friends and the surrounding grass in the shield are relatively, unscathed, the places outside are not. Trees have been burnt to charcoal, the once green grass now burnt to ash.

“It’s a PSI Shield. It should protect us from the Starman’s PK attacks—which is the only type of attacks he uses!” Sollux yells, turning his head slightly so you can understand him better.

Understanding what he means, you nod to yourself, twisting your red-and-blue baseball cap back and tightening your grip on your Broken Hammer. With a strangled yell, you dash forward, hoping the PSI Shield is still in place for everyone.

“ **Enemy approaching. Activating PK Fire Gamma.** ” Another wave of fire bursts from the Starman, but it’s much less intense. The PSI Shield holds as you dash towards the Starman, Broken Hammer in your hands and fury in your eyes.

“ **Enemy still approaching. Activating PK Fire Beta.** ” The Starman is getting weaker now, the attacks less potent. Once again, the PSI Shield blocks the PK Fire. This time, you’re close enough to get a hit in. You do so with relish, smacking the Starmans leg with your hammer, grinning at the loud ‘thonk’ it makes.

“ **Enemy approaching. Activating PK Fire Alpha.** ” The Starman bellows, something akin to panic in its robotic voice. This PK Fire is much weaker. It barely reaches you, even though you’re right next to the Starman.

Feeling the need to say a catchy line as you attack again, you do so. “STAY OFF MY PLANET!!!” You yell, leaping up and smashing your Broken Hammer against the Starmans visor.

**_ SMAAAAAAAASH!!!!!!!! _ **

As you land, the Starman explodes into pieces behind you. You collapse onto the ground.

What have you just done? You just murdered something in cold blood! Sure, it attacked with the intent to kill, but still—

 

“John! Come on, we have to go!” Sollux yells, reminding you now is not the time to have a serious moral dilemma.

“What? Where?” You question, although your tongue feels numb and your brain feels heavy.

“I need to give you something, but first, you need to get the Serkets back to their house.”

“Oh yeah.”

“They’re leaving without you.” Sollux is right. You can see the retreating blonde hair and overalls that belong to Vriska Serket. You don’t know what got into her—normally she’d be the one to lead the charge. You guess tonight just isn’t her night. You don’t think it’s anyones night tonight.

“Goddammit.” You hiss, pulling yourself up. “Guys wait up!” You call out to them, getting onto your feet.

 

They make no indication that they’ve heard you—they only run. So you run too.

Past the blackened trees and scorched rocks. Past the cowering Runaway Dogs and Spiteful Crows. Past the confused Unassuming Local Guys and their strange binoculars and cameras.

You run all the way in the direction of home, turning left instead of right to get to the Serket Residence. Although you play baseball, you aren’t the fittest of people, so you spend a few minutes gasping and wheezing on the Serkets porch.

The door is shut—Vriska and Aranea were way ahead of you after all—and you can hear the sounds of angry yelling accompanied with sharp cries and skin hitting skin.

Despite your nerves, you muster the courage to knock on the door. Immediately, the door swings open to reveal the flushed face of Mrs Serket.

“Hi Mrs Serket!” You bow to her respectfully. “I just want to know if your daughters made it back alright?”

“They’re fine.” She narrows her eyes at you. “You were the one who dragged them into this, weren’t you? Dragging my little darlings into the woods at this time of night?”

“No ma’am I—“

“Don’t interrupt me! You were raised wrong if you treat your elders like that! The whole lot of you…wrong.” She mutters the last part, her gaze fixed on Sollux.

Unfortunately, Sollux is unaware of his oncoming fate. As he drifts closer to Mrs Serket, he fails to notice how her lip is curled up in disgust.

“Urggh!!! A pesky bee!!!” She shrieks. With one great swish of her meaty hands, Sollux is knocked out of the sky and falls to the porch below.

“Sollux!” You yell frantically, crouching down and scooping up his broken form.

“I’d rather you not speak to me or my daughters ever again.” Mrs Serket says in disdain, and the door is slammed shut. But you don’t care. Sollux is dying, and he’s the only one that can tell you about your destiny and how to save the world.

 

“Listen…John…” Sollux gasps out, buzzes coming out in random breaths. “You must…collect all eight…melodies…of the earth. You must…unite your power with the earths and…gather the other three…Chosen Children. Then…and only then…can you defeat…Giygas…”

“My powers? What powers?”

“Magical PSI powers…the same I have…the same Giygas has…the same George stole from Giygas’s people and experimented on his own flesh and blood with…You have great…power John…far more than any…PSI-Positive person in this time. You must…learn to unlock it…if you are to reach your…full potential…”

“But I…I don’t know how!” You sob, ignoring the tears falling down your cheeks.

“You will learn…in time…But, for now…you must take this Sound Stone…and record with it all Eight Melodies of the Earth...”

A strange, hollow stone appears, as if out of thin air. It’s around the length of your forearm—and twice as thick.

“How did you even get that?” You ask, voice disfigured by sobs.

“It…doesn’t matter…right now. Now…you need too…go to Giant…Step. That is…the first…Your Sanct…uary location… The..So..und Stone will…re…cord…everything…” Sollux is fading—literally! His familiar buzz is growing fainter, and fainter, and fainter…

“Go now John…and…save…the…world…” Sollux blows away in your hands like petals in the wind.

“Sollux…” You whisper hopelessly, staring at the empty space in your palms. Mustering everything you have, you stand up, picking up the Sound Stone and clutching it to your chest.

There is no use grieving now, you have a journey to undergo that is just getting started.

 

* * *

 

Breakfast is understandably awkward.

You’ve already told Jane and Nanna (and rung up Dad) about Sollux and the meteor and your destiny and your supposed PSI powers. Surprisingly enough, they believed you, and are now encouraging you to go on your journey of self-discovery.

You’re leaving right after breakfast—your bag is packed and everything. You don’t want to go, but this is a matter of international importance.

 

Your plate is empty in front of, and you stare sullenly down on it. Nanna and Jane are finished as well, but Jane is scraping the empty plate forcefully. The air is tense and filled with the sound of plate scraping.

“I-I’d better go…” You mumble, pushing the chair back and standing up. Jane watches you with sad eyes, but says nothing.

“Yes…I knew this day would come. It is time for you to begin your journey. I can only hope that you will be safe and strong throughout it…” Nanna stands up as well, a forlorn look in her eyes.

“Nanna…” You whisper, feeling tears well up in your eyes. “I’m sorry…”

“Don’t be. This is your destiny. Your father and I knew this day would come ever since you were born. You must do what the man from the future says—gather the eight melodies and lead the Chosen Four to victory. It will be tough, but you must believe in yourself.”

“Oh Nanna, Jane…” You step around the table, gathering them both up in a big hug. “I’ll miss you both so much…”

“We’ll miss you too John. I wish you all the best on your journey—remember, you can always come back here if the going gets tough.”

 

“I-I have to go…” Miserably, you let go of both Jane and Nanna. Refusing to meet their eyes, you heft up your yellow back-pack and thump it onto your back. “Goodbye. I’ll miss you all.” You squeeze your eyes shut, forcing the tears away.

You turn on your heel and walk away, tears threatening to spill even more with each step closer to the door. With trembling fingers, you reach for the doorknob. You rest your fingers there for a few seconds, pausing at what seems to be the brink of everything.

“Good luck!” Jane calls, the first words she’s said to you all morning. You know she’s sad about your leaving—you are her big brother, and she looks up to you quite a lot—but you were going to leave eventually.

“I’m sorry…” You whisper, tears now freely running down your cheeks. You turn the doorknob, opening the door to the wide, bright world in front of you.

You take one shaky, hesitant step. Then another. And another. Soon you are walking down the path to Onett Town, sobbing hysterically.

You don’t want to do this. It will involve weeks, months on the road with little to eat and extreme temperatures to battle. You don’t know what you’re doing—how are you supposed to find the other three and the other Your Sanctuary locations by yourself? You think you might also have to murder people! You don’t want to become a murderer. But you have to do this.

To save to world.

 

* * *

 

Onett is beautiful in the morning sun.

The square-brick buildings seem to glow with a sunflower yellow, fiery orange intensity. It douses the town in a sunny light that makes everything seem…happier somehow. A few butterflies flutter past as you make your way deeper into the town. There aren’t any people about but you aren’t too worried, Onett is a rather small, lazy town. At this time of morning, they’re all probably asleep in their beds.

Wait what is that!?

Up in the sky!

It looks like…a grown man twirling down from the sky?

You pause, squinting up at the man, covering your eyes with your baseball cap. He falls closer and closer, so you can see him in clearer detail. It is indeed an old man—with a scruffy blonde beard and suit too. He lands on a nearby fencepost, wobbling furiously before settling.

 

“Pictures taken instantaneously! I’m a photographic genius, if I do say so myself! Okay, get ready for an instant memory! Look at the camera! Ready? Say…’fuzzy pickles’” The guy says, holding up a heavy looking camera.

“But, I’m thirteen, and you’re like, forty.” You back away a little, holding your palms up.

“I’m thirty-nine, not forty.” The camera man sighs, little follicles in his beard rustling as he does.

“Right, like that makes it any better.” You snark back.

“Look, your dad paid me to follow you around and take photos of you on your adventure.”

“…Umm.” You shift your gaze side to side, looking for an escape route.

“Look,” the camera man sighs again, digging around in his pockets. He pulls out a piece of paper with a very familiar signature.” “See? It’s your dads signature. Now can you just say fuzzy pickles so I can take your photo please?”

“Oh…sorry.” Feeling stupid, you readjust your cap. Smiling a little too widely, you turn to face the camera man, pulling the peace sign. “Fuzzy pickles!”

A bright flash erupts from the camera, making you blink in shock a little. Your vision goes all spotty and white. When the whiteness clears from your vision, the camera man is gone. But you turn your gaze skyward, managing to catch a final glimpse of the man as he disappears up into the sky.

Well, that was certainly strange.

 

“Hey you! Kid!” A hoarse, gravelly voice calls out. You look around nervously, still a little weirded out from the camera man. In the distance, near the arcade is a group of teenagers dressed in strange skeleton costumes and eccentric skating gear.

“Yeah you, fatty! C’mere!” A tall girl with long and straight red hair beckons you, grinning wildly. Beside her stands a gangly boy with a wild mess of blonde hair and a skateboard tucked under one arm.

“Umm…okay?” You awkwardly make your way over, fingers idly brushing the Wooden Hammer you bought at the drug store. You reach them, giving a weird look at the neon orange traffic cone on the boys head.

“Whaddaya doing around this part of town kid? Dontcha know the Sharks’ll getcha?” The girl grins, revealing sharp points to her teeth.

“Oh, I’m trying to find Giant Step! I’m going on an adventure and I need to record the melody there!” You smile back at her, trying not to feel threatened by her pointy teeth.

“Aren’tcha scareda the Sharks kid?” The girl asks. The Sharks are a gang of teenagers who loiter around Onett. They used to vandalise things a lot, but now they’re getting a lot more aggressive.

“Not particularly.” You answer truthfully.

“Well you should be!” The boy shouts, throwing his hands up in the air.

“That’s right baby! We’re part of the shark gang, and we’re gonna take you out!” The girl yells, agreeing with her spouse. Sharing a grin, they strike a pose, brandishing their skateboards menacingly.

 

“Oh jeez.” You mutter, pulling out your Wooden Hammer in self-defence.

You remember what Sollux said, about Giygas’s forces possessing innocent people and forcing them to do bad things. That must be why the Sharks are getting more and more aggressive! Giygas is possessing them!

The boy and girl charge at you, brandishing their skateboards. Without thinking, you blindly swing your hammer in self-defence, accidently hitting the girl on the head. She collapses, much to you, and the boy’s horror.

“Latula!!!” He screeches, voice loud and piercing. “Help! He’s killed her! He’s killed her!”

Face screwed up in determination, you swing the hammer down on the boy, hoping to knock him unconscious. He falls down swiftly, collapsing next to his girlfriend.

They’re both still breathing, which is a relief. You don’t want to kill anyone.

 

“Hey you!” Another voice calls, an adult this time.

A man with a yellow pompadour and stupid glasses stands in the doorway of the arcade, glaring furiously at you. His purple tuxedo really gives him a douchebag look and oh holy shit is that a knife!!!!????

“Did you just beat up two of my crew?”

“N-No!” You squeak, eyes wide and hands raised up in the surrender position. “I-I didn’t, I swear!”

“Then why are you holding a hammer over their unconscious bodies?”

“It’s not what it looks like! _They_ attacked _me_!” You plead, but pompadour ain’t having it.

“C’mere kid. I’m gonna teach you a lesson you won’t soon forget about the Sharks.” Pompadour advances, knife firmly in his grip.

 

“Holy shit I’m gonna die.” You whisper to yourself, staring intently at his knife.

 _‘You’re over-reacting John. He won’t kill you.’_ A voice speaks up in your mind, barely above a whisper, but it’s there.

“What! Who said that? Who’s there?” You reply, taking a tentative step back from the knife wielding maniac.

 _‘You don’t have to reply via speaking. I’ve linked the two of us via a telepathic link. Plus it makes you sound stupid.’_ The voice in your head seems…scathing and annoyed.

“Oh.” You say, before realising your mistake. ‘Oops, I mean oh. Sorry.’ You think back, hoping you’re doing the telepathic linky thing right.

_‘You are. Now, John, I need you to trust me.’_

‘Trust you, but I don’t even know who you are! How do you know my name? I don’t know your name! Can I at least have your name before I trust you?’

 _‘My name is Rose.’_ You almost hear the voice huff in annoyance. _‘I live in Twoson with my alcoholic mother and my dead cat Jaspers. Surprisingly, everyone in Twoson loves me. I am one of the Chosen Four. I often get prophetic visions of the future. Like you, I have PSI Abilities. Unlike you, I know how to use them. There, that’s pretty much my entire life story.’_

‘Hey! I just learnt I had them yesterday!’ You cry out in your mind, jumping out of the way of pompadour as he charges at you.

_‘Yes yes, now, I need you to envision something you love, above all else.’_

‘Ummm…pranking people?’ You yelp in surprise, narrowly dodging a wild swing of pompadours knife.

_‘Yes. Good. That’ll do. Now, think of pranking and nothing but pranking. Aim those thoughts outwards—specifically at Franky.’_

‘Franky?’

_‘The man who’s currently attacking you with a knife.’_

‘Oh, right. I’ve been calling him pompadour.’

 _‘I noticed.’_ Something akin to an amused chuckle echoes in your thoughts, making you count an early victory.

 

Deciding to take Roses advice, you close your eyes and—

_‘Don’t close your eyes dumbass! There’s a guy attacking you with a knife, remember?’_

Deciding to take Roses advice, you keep your eyes open and try to fill your thoughts with pranks. Whipped cream pies, goofy groucho glasses, whoopee cushions, buckets of water hanging over doorways, freezing dads car keys in a glass full of ice, pelting people with rotten eggs.

As you think of these classic pranks, something begins to build up in your chest and spread across your body. It makes its way down your arms, before the bursting, thrumming sensation is at your hands, begging to be released.

Release it you do, making sure to aim it right at Franky. A spray of all kinds of pranking goods spray out of your hands, in quite a wide variety. There’s whoopee cushions, fake slime, silly string, groucho glasses, fake body parts, plastic turds and all kinds of wacky goofs.

Franky staggers backwards, dropping the knife in the process. He stares at you in shock, body a multi-coloured mess of paint. A shock of awed whispers ripple around the emerging townsfolk.

 _‘Congratulations! Your first PK move—and one completely from your own mind as well! I dub it—PK Prank Alpha!’_ You hear a note of pride in your mind and you blush.

‘I couldn’t have done it without you Rose!’ You think back, beaming. There is no reply in your mind, which is a little worrying. But…she probably had better things to do than bother with a kid like you.

 

“Boy. The mayor would like to thank you for your brave deed to the town.” A tall, dark-skinned man stands in front of you, the obvious bodyguard for the shorter dark-skinned man also in front of you.

“I…didn’t really do anything…” You say sheepishly, rubbing the back of your neck awkwardly.

“No, you saved the town from the villainous Shark gang.” The shorter man makes several hand gestures to the taller man, who translates.

“They were just a bunch of teenagers…” You mumble, but quietly.

“The mayor would like to grant you this key to Giant Step.” The taller man continues on, acting like you never spoke. “He hopes you can dispel the monster infestation that’s made its way in the caves there.”

“Well um, I was going to go there anyway, but thanks.” You say confusedly, reaching out to take the offered key.

This all seems a bit too convenient, but you’re not questioning it. You mean, not all quests of fate and destiny are hard right?

 

* * *

 

You were wrong. You were so, so wrong.

The Sanctuary Guardian towers before you, eyes ablaze with anger. The Titanic Ant clicks its pincers in annoyance, striped abdomen pulsating wildly.

You had hoped that making your way towards the First Your Sanctuary location would be relatively easy. It wasn’t, really. The cave system was filled to the brim with Rowdy Mice, Attack Slugs and Black Antoids. You barely made it up here in one piece. Now, there’s a giant ant blocking the way to the Your Sanctuary location and you are so done with everything.

 

“Boy. I have lived here undisturbed for centuries. I have witnessed the growth of your species. I will gladly watch its downfall.” For such a large ant, it really has such a quiet voice. It’s like someone used a growth serum on an ant, but the vocal chords weren’t enlarged properly.

“Um, ok then.” You reply tiredly, hoping the Titanic Ant will get out of your way so you can just walk past to it to the First Sanctuary. No such luck.

“My master, Giygas, has whispered to me over the years. He told me to watch out for the Chosen One—a boy born in the outskirts of Onett. I trained myself in preparation for years—but then when you finally came I realised I didn’t need to. You’re weak, pathetic. You cry about everything. Your jokes and pranks aren’t even funny and they hurt people. You? Saving the world? Don’t make me laugh. I’ll squash you where you stand!” The Titanic Ant rears up, legs thrashing wildly. Then they come crashing down, leaving deep holes in the rocky floor of the cave.

 

You pull out your Wooden Hammer, which is still covered in smushed up bits off ants and blood. At the sight of your hammer, the Titanic becomes furious, gnashing its teeth so hard, it is the only thing you can hear.

“Oh yeah! You think I’m weak huh? Well, all your little ant friends might disagree with you!” You yell up at the Titanic Ant. It screams, so furious that its words seem too have failed it.

You dash forward, taking the opportunity that your distraction caused. You smash at its legs, causing one of them to go flying off, spraying a thick green goop everywhere. It screams again but you’re not finished.

You swing out at the Titanic Ant again, this time hitting it on the pulsing abdomen. It collapses, and you take this opportunity to jump on its back.

“Hey, Titanic Ant, I gotta joke for you!” You yell, wiping sweat from your brow. “What do you call an ant in my way!?”

There’s no reply, but you weren’t expecting any. You jump upwards, leaping as high as you can up into the air.

“A dead one!” You shriek, hitting the Titanic Ant on the head as hard as you can. It explodes into the same sticky green goop as before, completely covering you and the surrounding cave.

“Eww…” You chuckle nervously, wiping it from your eyes, nose and mouth. With little hesitation, you head forward, out of the cave and into the First Your Sanctuary location.

 

Giant Step is quite…well…giant. And a step.

The large footprint seems quite surreal as you stand before it, dripping with monster goop. But as you step closer, you feel…something stir deep inside your chest.

A faint tune begins to play, but you have a feeling you’re the only one who heard it. After it fades, you hear a corresponding melody play in your backpack. It must be the sound stone! Sollux did say it would record the melodies for you, this must be what he meant.

A dull flash of nothingness, and suddenly the vision of a small, white dog fills your mind. Then the vision clears, and you’re back on the Giant Step. But one things different—you’re all cleaned up off monster goop. Plus, the scratches and scrapes you obtained from the caves are gone, fading with a shimmering light.

You don’t remember ever owning a dog, but you have seen images of your dad, Nanna and some fluffy white puppy—so you guess your family did at one point.

 

“Hey! You! Kid up on the hill!” A stern, authoritarian voice calls out to you. Just what is it about adults yelling at you today? It’s really starting to annoy you.

You peer over the hill, glancing around before you finally see you is yelling up at you. Oh no. It’s a police officer.

For some weird reason, the Onett Police Force hate your family. You don’t know why, but Nanna and Dad refuse to talk about it.

“Umm, yes?” You call back down, a little nervously.

“What are you doing up there? You’re trespassing on local government property!”

“Oh, I’m allowed to be up here. I—“

“Don’t interrupt me boy!” The police officer, ironically, interrupts. “You’re coming to the station! I’ll be waiting for you down here, so you better come down here, or I’ll tell your grandmother.”

Well, this is bad. But you better do what he says, or else even worse things could happen to you—or your family.

 

* * *

 

The police station is just as you remember it—clean, sanitary and completely devoid of any homeliness whatsoever. But…it is a police station so what were you really expecting?

The police officer who yelled at you from Giant Step drags you in by the ear, ignoring your yelps of pain and protest.

His superior turns around when you enter, mouth turned into a frown.

“I found this one up at Giant Step—trespassing.” The officer lets go of your ear and shoves you forward. You stumble a bit, but manage to stop yourself before you bump into the Captain.

“Well, well, well…” The officer puts his hands on his hips and glowers at you. “Officer, you’re dismissed. You boy, you’re coming with me.” The Captain beckons with his meaty hands and turns away, giving you no choice but to follow.

 

He leads you down a twisted maze of corridors, each one lined with rows and rows of cell doors. With each step, you’re getting more and more lost, but you keep following the Captain, hoping he’ll just let you off with a warning.

No such luck.

The Captain stops in front of an open door. You pause behind him, but he grabs your wrist and pushes you in. You trip and fall, hitting the ground face first. You hear the sound of the door click shut and locking behind it. Now panicked, you try to stand up, but you’re roughly shoved back down on your knees.

“I’m sick of punks like you hanging around town and going places where you’re not supposed to. You think you own the place—and you vandalise the town. I’m sick of it.” The Captain spits out, a few droplets landing on the back of your neck. You resist the urge to wipe it off.

“But…the Mayor gave me permission to—“

“Be quiet!” He gives you a sharp kick in the ribs, making you gasp in shock and pain. “Damn kid. No respect for adults these days. Well, we’ll teach you respect. Get him men!”

 

With a sick horror, you realise the empty room is filled with five other police men. They descend upon you, like a flock of crows to roadkill.

You could easily defend yourself from their fists and kicks by whipping out your hammer and hitting them with it. But…Nanna drilled it into you that you have to be nice to police officers—and you don’t want to let her down.

So you curl up in a little ball and cover your face, wishing for it all to be over soon.

Some hit you with their batons, some just kick you. You start to feel numb to it after a while. Tears stream down your face, but you just let it happen.

The officers are surprisingly quiet while beating you—filling you with the fear they’ve all done this before. But then, after around a few minutes of this beating, your saviour comes.

 

The Captains phone rings.

“Uh, hold on guys, I’d better answer this.” He picks up his phone, turning away to answer it. You curl up tighter, feeling the officers surrounding you.

“Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Yep, got it. Will get onto that right away.” The Captain mutters into the phone. “Okay, bye.” You hear him coming back, footsteps loud and threatening in your current state. You feel the Captains hand on your shoulder and stifle a scream.

“Well this is embarrassing. There’s uh…been a mix up. Looks like the Mayor let you up there to get rid of the monster problem for us. So um…sorry. The uh, gateway to Twoson is open now.” The Captain says awkwardly. You brush his hand off your shoulder and struggle to your feet.

“Thanks.” You spit out bitterly, wiping away the trickling blood down your nose. “Real nice.”

 

* * *

 

The road to Twoson looks even tougher to face with your puffy and swollen eye. So you pause at the gates of Onett for a minute, taking a little breather.

Everything hurts, and you don’t think you’ll be able to walk right for a few days. You managed to clean off the blood in a nearby stream, but now your body is littered with fading bruises. You have a black eye and you’re lucky the lenses of your glasses didn’t break. You think your nose is broken, but the hospital staff said it’s just a sprain.

You sigh pitifully, staring down at your hands. They’re slightly calloused now—covered in blisters oozing pus and other painful things.

 

 _‘John’_ Comes a familiar, faint whisper in your mind. You continue staring down at your hands, but you eagerly reply to your friend in your mind.

‘Rose! You’re back! I was so worried about you! What happened?’

_‘Well, that’s the thing—I’ve kind of…been kidnapped. And I…might…need your help in a rescue mission.’_

‘What? Who kidnapped you?’

_‘The cult in Happy-Happy Village kidnapped me while I was making my daily rounds. I think they plan on making me a human sacrifice. They’ve already sacrificed one girl—I’m most likely to be next.’_

‘Oh no! That’s terrible!!! Don’t worry! I’m on my way to rescue you right now! You can count on me!’

 _‘I know I can.’_ You can sense a little smile in her thoughts. _‘I believe I’m being held in the Peaceful Rest Valley—it’s north of Twoson. Hurry, I think I’m running out of time.’_

‘Don’t worry! I’ll be there soon, I promise!’ You call back, but she doesn’t reply. She sounded hurried, so you better go quickly, before she gets hurt—or turned into a human sacrifice!

You break off into a sprint, dashing down the path to Twoson.

You have a friend to rescue.


	2. Chapter TWOson

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John travels to Happy Happy Valley to rescue Rose. It turns out as well as you'd expect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone knows how to edit Mr Saturnish font in AO3, it would be great if someone told me. Thanks.

Twoson is…well, a lot like Onett, but twice the size.

The people are quite friendly, but they often stop to talk to you about Rose for around ten minutes at a time. You may not believe this but…you think she’s been kidnapped!

But, despite the whole repeating themselves thing, they have directed you to where Rose lives. You know she won’t be there, but you might as well pay a visit—you could learn a lot about your new friend.

 

You stand in front of the Lalonde Preschool, feeling a little awkward about being here. Nevertheless, you walk up to the front porch and knock on the door.

After a lot of scuffling and yelling, a middle-aged woman opens the door, a margarita in hand.

“Oh hiiii sweet-heart! Aren’tcha such a cutie?” She slurs, leaning in to pinch your cheek.

“Um, hi Mrs Lalonde. Just uh, wanted to know if you’ve seen Rose lately?” You ask a little warily, gently brushing her hand from your cheek.

“Who? Little Rosie? She should be up in her room! Are you one of her friends? Oh it’s so nice she’s finally making friends! The townsfolk love her, but she’s not the most…sociable of people…” Mrs Lalonde leans down and whispers the last part. “Come in! Come in!” She brightens up, ushering you inside.

“Um, Mrs Lalonde—“ You step through the doorway. You’re greeted with the lovely scent/noises of numerous hyper-active four year olds.

“Oh please, call me mum. Everyone does.” Mrs Lal— _Mum_ interrupts, waving her hand in dismissal.

“Mum then, are you aware that your daughter has been kidnapped by a cult?”

To this, mum starts laughing—loudly and drunkenly. “Ha Ha ha! Rosie said you were quite the prankster—John, isn’t it?”

“What? How does she know who I am? We’ve never met?” You swiftly dodge a lump of thrown carrot. Mum however, isn’t so lucky. The lump of mashed carrot slides down her dress, staining the white dress with a streak of orange.

“Kelsie darling, not throwing carrot at mummy—alright?” She brushes the lump off with her hand and it splatters onto the floor. “My little Rosie gets prophetic visions—she knew you were coming weeks before you actually arrived. How’s Onett this time of year by the way?”

“It’s a…lot like Twoson, but…ma’am, I’m not pranking you. Your daughter has been kidnapped by the cult in Happy-Happy village—she contacted me via telepathic link.”

“Yes yes darling. Now, do you want anything to drink before you go up to see her? Wine? Tea? Coffee?” Mum ushers you into the back door, closing it behind her.

“Um, mum? Wine is alcoholic.” You glance around the room, flashing back to your time in the police station. You’re lucky to have found some concealer in your exact skin tone in a nearby shop—or else those bruises would have garnered a lot of unwanted attention.

“Oops! Silly me!” She puts her hand over her mouth. “No wine then, but we have soft drink?”

“Umm, no offence mum, but I’d rather just go up to see Rose.” You won’t find her, but you’d rather not have an awkward drink with Rose’s drunken mother.

“Oh! Well if you need me, I’ll be with the kids.” She sends you a wink, which makes you feel even more awkward then you already do.

 

You shuffle upstairs, suddenly unsure of why you’re here. You feel like you’re intruding on something private. This feeling intensifies when you step into what you assume is Rose’s room.

The room is, of course, devoid of anyone that you can see. The walls and ceiling are painted a dark black, while the carpet is a thick fluffy violet. The lilac curtains flutter in the breeze, which fills the room with a coolness that seems to soothe your very soul.

While the carpet is thick and fluffy, it is strewn with open books and piles of dirty clothes. Even more closed books are piled onto her bed, which must be hard to sleep on you note. Peering into the books, you see glimpses of tentacles and strange beasts you can’t name.

Decorating the walls are pictures you assume to be drawn herself. They’re not very good, but you step over a pile of clothes to investigate them closer anyway.

 

These pictures seem very surreal, as if drawn by a half-asleep mind. Some of the things pictured you recognise—the meteor, the Sharks, the policemen, Titanic Ant, Giant Step, Vriska?—but others you don’t—strange men in hooded blue costumes, a space-ship like capsule, a giant mole with blood dripping from its paws and mouth, a snowy landscape with a large institution with wrought-iron gates, a golden palace floating on an island in the sky. But the picture that fascinates you the most is the one of four people tacked up above her bed.

The picture looks like it has had a lot of time and effort into it, unlike the other ones, where it looks like they were done in her sleep. It’s not completely finished, but you glance over at it anyway.

The first boy is one you recognise—it’s you! From the baseball cap to the short blue shorts, every detail is perfect. You’re grinning wildly—buck-teeth sticking out in full force—with your hammer casually slung over your shoulders.

The second girl is unrecognisable, but from the black lipstick and impressive amount of eyeliner, you’re assuming it’s Rose. Her blonde hair is very short and choppy at the back, but around shoulder-length at the front. It is held into place with a white headband—looking much like the multi-coloured set on her dressing table. Her dress is short and purple, filling her plump and short frame quite well.

The third girl you also don’t recognise, but she looks a lot like you. Similar facial features, glasses, dark skin, wild black hair—you’d say this girl is your clone if it weren’t for the green eyes. She’s wearing a green suit jacket and skirt, a rather impressive locking gun slung over her shoulder. Bits of broken machinery and tools poke out of her knapsack.

The forth boy is stocky and stoic. He holds himself with a kind of regal pride you wouldn’t expect from someone his age. Most of his face is framed with rather large triangular shades, but you can see a smattering of freckles on his dark cheeks. His long bleached hair is tied up in plaited ponytail, and a ruby crown rests on his forehead.

 

An indignant meow breaks you out of your staring contest with Rose’s picture. You whirl around, casually glancing for the source of the meow, but soon frantically searching around when that wields no results. The meow comes again, and whoever is meowing sounds pissed. Remembering what Rose said about living with her dead cat Jaspers, you back away slowly, back to the wall.

“Um…sorry kitty, wherever you are. I’m uh, going now.” You reverse out of Rose’s room, feeling even more like you’ve invaded Rose’s space. Somehow, you think Rose knows that you went in her room. Well, she is psychic after all.

You walk back down the stairs, deciding that you’re done here. The kitchen is the same as you left it—except mum is still at the kitchen table, working over bubbling liquids.

“Back so soon?” She glances up, eyes filled with amusement.

“Oh she’s uh, not in her room. I’m uh, going to find her.” You pause in front of the kitchen table.

“Oh.” A look of worry passes over Mums face.

“I’ll be going now. It was nice meeting you.” You give her a nod and walk out of the room. You pass the screaming preschool children the Rose’s mum is somehow entitled to take care of. They’re too busy crying loudly about Rose and throwing food to notice you slip out the door.

The world outside is as sunny and beautiful as when you entered the Lalonde’s preschool. Butterflies fly by as you make your way off the Lalondian property. Cars drive on down the street, from places unknown to destinations more unknown. Two girls start to giggle and whisper amongst themselves as you pass by. Your immediate thought is that they’re whispering about you, but then you hear them.

 

“Ew.” The blonde one whispers to her red-haired friend. “It’s that disgusting Horse Kid. Watch out Susan, he’ll sweat on you.”

“Ewwwww!” The red haired girl giggles, her hand on her mouth.

You hear a sigh from behind you, and you turn your head slightly to look. A small, skinny guy in denim overalls and a longish bowl-cut is walking sullenly behind you, hunched in on himself at the girls remarks.

“It’s no wonder no one will sponsor him and his shitty inventions! Just look at him! Pony Kids stuff is much better.” The blonde girl says loudly, making sure Horse Kid hears it.

“And Pony Kid is much hotter too…” The red head adds as an afterthought.

You hate bullies. Those two girls are assholes. You wish there was some way you could make Horse Kid feel better…

Wait a minute! You could sponsor him! Your dad has left you plenty of money—and keeps adding more to your bank account. You’re sure you have enough money.

You turn around to face Horse Kid, a friendly smile on your face. “Hi! I’m John. I heard you need a sponsor?”

“Uhhh…yes….” Comes the hoarse reply.

“Great! I’ll be more than happy to sponsor you! How much should the starting payment be?”

Horse Kid blinks in surprise. “Uhhh…around two hundred dollars?” He seems uncertain, and you can’t really blame him. Behind you, you hear the girls whispering loudly in shock and surprise. You ignore them, instead you start digging around in your pockets for your wallet.

“This should be enough, right?” You say, fishing out a little bit extra once you pull out your wallet. You hand it over, grinning at his stunned expression.

“I, uh…thank you so much! H-here’s a little compensation…” He swings his back-pack around and begins to rummage through it. You wait patiently as he does, wincing at the sounds of metal hitting metal. Eventually, he pulls out a phone receiver. Just the receiver.

“This is so I can contact you about any new inventions I’ll make! I’m sure it’ll help you immensely.” You doubt it will, but you smile and take it anyway.

“So why do they call you Horse Kid?” You ask good-naturedly, trying to keep the conversation going. The girls aren’t whispering loudly anymore—they’re probably staring in shock.

“My…drawings of well-oiled muscle-beasts. Frolicking, playing with each other…Would you like to see them?” Horse Kid sweats nervously, staring intently at you.

“Uhhhh no thanks I’m good. You do you, I’ll uh, do me. Look, I gotta go. Y’know, places to be and all.” You wave your hands about and smile. “Good luck inventing!” You turn away, heading back towards Peaceful Rest Valley.

Preparations made, you hitch your bag up on your back.

Don’t worry Rose, you’ll be safe soon.

 

* * *

 

Your name is Rose Lalonde, and you have been kidnapped.

It wasn’t your fault! One of your stupid visions came in the middle of the street. The people of Twoson know about your tendency to freeze up because of a vision—those fucking cultists used that shit to their own advantage. They must’ve picked you up while you were having your vision, which seriously freaks you out. What where they doing to you while you were out?

 

At least the vision was somewhat helpful, albeit annoying as usual.

It showed you eight locations, only a few of which you recognised. There was of course Giant Step in Onett, and Magnet Hill in Fourside. But the others…you have never seen before, although you are sure you soon will. They all resonated with a certain kind of energy that you’re certain would be helpful in your journey.

You’ve known about your destiny for quite some time. It came to you in a dream when you were still quite young, causing you to run screaming to your mother, horrified at the terrible nightmare. You dreamt of two boys and two girls, fighting a horrific monstrosity with all the strength they have.

Visions filled your dreams, making you reluctant to sleep. When you woke up, you would forget the fine details almost immediately. Occasionally, they would come when you were awake, but that was only the important ones. You have taken to drawing all your visions upon pieces of paper your mother so kindly gifted you. They’re usually rush-jobs, hurried so that all the details you can remember will be drawn in.

All expect one.

It’s the glimpses of the other Chosen Four you have caught in your visions. Tufts of dark hair, flashes of glass lenses, obnoxiously loud laughter, blood, snow, gold, warm hands against yours as you face down another enemy. You tried to portray it all as accurately as you could, but you doubt it’s accurate.

 

You sigh and lean back against the wall of the wooden hut. This sucks. You can easily escape this cell and make your own way back to Twoson, but unfortunately, you need to meet up with John. Not only that, but he needs to take down that cult and the two of you need to collect the second melody.

At least you have your dead cat, Jaspers, for company.

You know how weird that sounds, but you can kind of see your dead cat. It must be a psychic thing, since no one else can see him. But a specific psychic thing, because you don’t think John can see him.

Jaspers is floating on your lap, purring as you absent-mindedly stroke his ectoplasmic fur.

 

 _‘Burglin Park more like Burgling All Your Fucking Time and Money Park, amirite?’_ What you’ve come to recognise as John’s voice echoes in your mind.

‘Ah. Nice to see you’ve finally realised a telepathic connection works both ways. How was Burglin Park? It’s quite nice this time of year. There are a few foreign food stands that I’d quite like to try.’ You reply, an amused tone in your thoughts.

 _‘What? Oh. Um, do you want me to get you something?’_ He pauses, annoyance in his thoughts fading.

‘No. It will be squashed before you get here. But get something for yourself, by all means. I would recommend anything but the stall that sells Fresh Eggs and only Fresh Eggs. They are…very fresh to put it simply.’

_‘Uh, yeah. A bit too late for that. There’s a very angry chicken in my backpack and I’m kind of terrified right now.’_

You laugh at that, you can’t help it, it’s funny. The thought of a boy in baseball shorts and a goofy grin with an enraged chicken in his backpack is hilarious to you. Luckily you’ve mastered the art of the ‘breathy huff of laughter’, so the guards don’t hear you. Then, as quickly as you start, you stop. You’d rather not get caught by the guards for laughing of all things.

‘So, I’m assuming you’re resuming your journey now? I would like to get rescued sometime this century.’

_‘Well, I’m heading back to Peaceful Rest Valley now. A giant iron statue of a pencil was in my way, but Horse Kid rang up with a new invention! So I made my way back to meet him. Pony Kid greeted me, saying that Horse Kid was in Burglin Park. So, I went to Burglin Park…and was promptly attacked by some old guy named Everdred. I defeated him—turns out he was possessed by Giygas. Anyway, I met up with Horse Kid and he gave me this Pencil Eraser! How convenient!”_

‘That doesn’t sound tiring or complicated at all.’

_‘Oh.’_

‘What?’

_‘The bridge is fixed.’_

‘How ironic.’

_‘Yeah. For a valley named ‘Peaceful Rest Valley’, it isn’t very peaceful. Or restful. I have had seven colds caused by robots. I’m so lucky I have Healing powers, or I’ll be sniffling all over the place!’_

‘Seven times? Please don’t spread that to me when you get here.’

_‘Oh!!! I see a house and some guys in blue robes! Is that you?’_

‘Probably. I can faintly hear the sounds of baseball bats hitting metal—you’re being very subtle about your approach.’

_‘Great! I’ll just go and rescue you—‘_

‘No! There are many, many guards. You can try to fight them, but they’ll call for help and overwhelm you. There’s no point in us both getting captured. You must get the key from Mr Carpainter and disband this cult. It’s the only way to rescue me properly. I’ve checked.’

_‘Oh yeah, that makes sense. I’m making my way to Happy Happy Village now.’_

‘Hmmm. Hold on. I need to give you something first. It’s essential in defeating Carpainter—trust me, you’ll need it if you don’t want to get electrocuted.’

_‘How are you going to give it to me if you’ve been captured?’_

‘You’ll find out.’ You think to John as you gently shove the ghostly form of Jaspers off your lap. You reach into the top pocket of your dress, wiggling out a small circular badge you’ve kept safe for months.

“Jaspers.” You whisper, taking the badge and putting it between his teeth. “Take this to John. You remember what he looks like, right?”

Jaspers nods, Franklin Badge reflecting light in his mouth. He makes his way through the metal bars that trap you in this hut. He’s much smaller than you, so he can easily slip through them. Jaspers wiggles his butt and leaps out the open window, flicking his wispy tail in farewell.

You hope the Franklin Badge reaches John—it’s his only hope against Mr Carpainter. Sure enough, after five minutes of bated breath and silence, his thoughts fill your mind again.

 

_‘Umm, Rose? There’s a floating badge right in front of me. Is this what you want to give me?’_

‘Yes. It’s a Franklin Badge. Pin it on your shirt and it will protect you from lightning.’

_‘That’s an oddly specific ability…’_

‘Yes. Now. Mr Carpainter is in the big blue house in the middle of Happy Happy Village. You’ll need to sneak in and avoid all the Insane Cultists, then defeat Mr Carpainter. He’s like the domino at the start of the line---if he falls, they all fall. And watch out for the girl with the blonde ponytail and denim overalls—she’s the one who kidnapped me.’

 _‘Girl with the blonde ponytail and denim overalls? That sounds like Vriska!_ She _kidnapped you?’_

‘I’m not entirely sure, but she was in the room when I woke up, on the other side of the bars. She’s part of the cult—Mr Carpainter has appointed her second in command. She told me I was to be a human sacrifice—although for what deity I have no idea.’

_‘She…tried to sacrifice you to an unknown God? That’s…she wouldn’t do something like that! Would she…?’_

‘She hasn’t sacrificed me—yet. But I will be sacrificed soon if you don’t hurry up! I don’t know about you, but this isn’t the way I want to go.’

_‘Fair point. I think I’m nearly there—the walls of this cave are painted blue!’_

‘Yep. That’d be it.’

_‘Okay Rose! Don’t worry! I won’t let you become a human sacrifice! I’m coming!’_

‘You’ve said that multiple times already.’ You smile, recrossing your legs and fiddling with the hem of your dress. ‘Well…thought…’

_‘Aww, but it’s true! And then, together, we’ll find the Eight Melodies of the Earth and explore all of Eagleland! And of course, find the other two Chosen Four and defeat Giygas!’_

‘Well technically, _they_ will find _us_ , but we will defeat Giygas. And John?’

_‘Yeah Rose?’_

“Good luck.” You say aloud, sending him all the metaphorical luck you can. Your fate—and the worlds fate—rests on him.

 

* * *

 

Your name is John Egbert and this place is very…blue.

And happy.

And scary.

Yep, that pretty much explains everything in Happy Happy Village.

 

The people here all look suspiciously like members of a certain clan that terrorised a certain country in the 19somethings. Although, they do have different colour schemes, so you’ll give them that.

Everything is blue. Just like that song, you know the one.

At least you kind of blend in.

Blue shorts, blue (and yellow) striped t-shirt, blue sneakers, blue eyes…You don’t agree with their goals, but at least you can sneak into their base undetected.

And Rose said this would be hard.

 

They think you’re here to join their cult, which you are not here to do. But, it’s good cover for sneaking in undetected.

You’re pretty impressed by just how many shades of blue there are in this town. Before you came here, you thought there were just the common shades—sky blue, light blue and dark blue. Turns out, there is a whole separate spectrum just for that specific colour.

The freshly painted blue of a blue picket fence. The sticky blue still-wet painted trees. The leaves—blue falling down in clumps from waxy blue leaves. Cow blue (yes, there is a cow painted blue in this town). Grass blue. The dark blue of the swishing robes of an Insane Cultist. The winding blue of twisted corridors and even more twisted minds.

But you make your way down those corridors, cheerily waving to every passing Insane Cultist. All of them wave back, some even point you in the direction of Mr Carpainters office when you ask. You don’t mind the happy themes of this place—you just wish the constant threat of human sacrifice and Rose’s imminent death wasn’t looming over you.

 

Finally, you come across a door that is somehow…bluer than the others. Well, this _is_ the door several Insane Cultists pointed out to you. So, you’d better ignore the bad feeling in your stomach and open the door.

You rap on the door with your knuckles, humming to yourself until you hear a ‘come in’.

The door opens, seemingly by nothing. You step inside, placing one hand on the handle of your hammer to calm yourself.

The room is blue, which is not surprising at all. What is surprising is the fact that blue isn’t the only colour in this room. There’s gold as well.

A giant gold statue to be specific. It gleams with an ominous, evil aura that is suffocating in this tiny room. You’ve never had claustrophobia, but right now, you’re really feeling it.

 

“Ah yes. Mani Mani said you would arrive soon. You’re right on time. Would you like some tea?” A mocking voice speaks, drawing your gaze down to the base of the statue. You were so caught up in the change in colour after only seeing blue for several hours that you didn’t notice the balding old man in the room.

“I’m assuming you’re Mr Carpainter?” You fix him with a cold stare, dropping the smiley façade you used to get around the village undetected.

“No hello? You’re just going to waltz into my village and demand my presence? Oh don’t look at me like that—I have cameras around the village, I can see everything. Well, at least you knocked.” Mr Carpainter chuckles, as if what he just said was the funniest joke in the world.

“You kidnapped my friend! Give me her cell key!” You curl your empty hand into a fist.

“Oh don’t take it personally, you haven’t even met her—yet. The Mani Mani Statue whispers to me…says everything will fall apart if the four of you meet. It says if I kill the girl…Giygas will succeed. But maybe, if I kill you as well…I can crush the spirits of everyone in the world!” As he speaks, he raises his hands, bringing forth two great bolts of lightning.

 

They surge towards you, crackling with energy and white-hot power. You’re frozen to the stop in terror—you can’t move, can’t think, can’t see properly. You’re transfixed, staring at the bolt of lightning as the twin bolts of lightning hurtle towards you.

You’re gonna die.

But as you’re struck by lightning, you remember something. The Franklin Badge!

You pinned it to your shirt, just as Rose instructed. Rose explained to you, it should deflect lightning. She said (well, thought), it would be essential in defeating Carpainter, you guess this is what she meant.

The lightning ricochets off the badge, hurtling back towards Mr Carpainter. Mr Carpainter shrieks and tries to run, but the twin bolts of lightning hit him square in the back. He screams and collapses, writhing on the floor.

 

You wait until the lightning dissipates before approaching Mr Carpainters slumped form.

“Um…Mr Carpainter? Are you okay?” You call, nudging his body with your foot. He stirs slightly, struggling up. Wordlessly, you help him up, supporting him into an upright standing position.

“What did you…how did you…” Mr Carpainters eyes flicker around randomly, before coming to a halt on your chest. “Ah. A Franklin Badge. Of course.” He sighs.

“I’m sorry for the whole hitting-your-own-lightning-back-at-you thing.” You apologise, feeling bad for the man in front of you.

“No. Don’t apologise, in fact, I’m the one who should apologise. The statue…” Mr Carpainter gestures to the gleaming statue above the two of you. “It was controlling me. It was controlling us…That little girl! We kidnapped her. We must make things right…here take this key. Take her back to her mother. She must be worried sick.” Mr Carpainter hands you a tiny iron key on a string, which you immediately hang around your neck. “Don’t worry about me! Go rescue your friend.”

You nod and bid him farewell, more than happy to get out of here.

 

The walk back outside is much different from the walk to Carpainter’s office. For one, the news of his defeat has travelled fast. There are no longer Insane Cultists roaming the halls, or a million shades of blue colouring the place. You pass several people doing their best to cover up the blue with every colour except blue.

After seeing only blue for so long, seeing other colours is a little bit of an eyesore.

It’s much quicker walking through the maze of corridors now—you can just retrace your steps. Soon enough, you’re outside, smelling the wet paint scented air.

You begin to make your way north, back to the cave entrance leading to Rose’s prison.

 

“Hey Joooooooohn.” A drawling, familiar voice calls out to you. You stop in your tracks.

“Vriska…” You spit out, her name feeling as sticky as uncooked cake batter in your mouth.

“Yeah! It’s me. Try not to freak out or anything.” Her elbow is placed upon your shoulder as she leans on you. “I mean, I know what you must be thinking—what is she doing here? Well, let me tell you, I—“

“I know what you did Vriska.” You say, pushing her elbow off your shoulder.

“Oh.”

“Oh? Oh? Is that all you have to say? You kidnapped my best friend!” You turn on her, anger no doubt flashing in your eyes.

“Your _best friend_??? You don’t even know her! _I’m_ your best friend! We grew up together!” Vriska scowls back, holding out an accusatory finger.

“Out of neighbourly obligation! Vriska, the only reason we hung out was because we were neighbours. We lived in a country town, where everyone knew everyone. We were pretty much the only kids the same age, so we were kind of forced to hang out!” You yell back at her, fists at your side.

“What! That’s bullshit John! I came here, wanting your forgiveness, and you give me this shit!”

“This shit!? Vriska, you’re so fucking selfish! You kidnapped a person—an actual, living person—with the intent to sacrifice her! Now you want my forgiveness? Fuck off, I’m so done with this shit.” You turn around to stalk off, but she grabs your arm.

“But John! Wait, please, I-I can expla—“

You wrench your arm out of her grasp. “Fuck off! Leave me alone! J-just go back to Onett…okay?” You turn to walk away, leaving your best friend of eight years behind.

Unbeknownst to you, until it is far too late, she does not return to Onett.

 

* * *

 

You stand at the entrance to a small wooden cottage, awkwardly staring at the wood grain in the door. You know Rose is behind this door, but after days of trying to rescue her, you can’t bring yourself to open the door.

What if she hates you? What if the two of you don’t get along at all? What if you spend all your adventure in awkward silence and hidden barbs? What if you fail? What if you let her down? What if she gets hurt because of you?

All your insecurities come rushing in to play, filling your head with their unwanted thoughts.

Okay John, breath. In. Out. In. Out. Ready John? Ok, open the door in three…two…one.

You nudge the door slowly and it swings open.

 

“Hello John. It is nice to finally meet you in person.” A short blonde girl is sitting cross-legged on the floor, stroking an invisible something in her lap.

“U-Uh….Hi Rose.” You step inside, fumbling with the key around your neck. “And um…Jaspers I guess…”

“Jaspers says hello back.” She stands up, gently scooping the invisible something up in her arms. “He’s flattered that you included him, even though you can’t see him.”

“Oh well, tell him I said hi back! Wait no, I already said that, goddammit…” You sigh, walking forward to the cage Rose is in. Rose chuckles slightly.

“Sorry for any trouble I caused you.” She apologises, a sincere look on her face.

“It’s fine.” You reply, sticking the key into the key hole and turning it. It swings open with a rusty creeeaaak. “My lady.” You bow, long and low, making butlery hand gestures.

“My knight in shining armour.” She sighs, and you hear the rustling of clothing and a faint purr as she moves past you. You swear she rolls her eyes at you, but you can’t see her face, so you wouldn’t know.

You stand back up, giving her an awkward smile. “So um, what do we do now? Do you want to go back to Twoson or do you have some unfinished business here?”

“We have some unfinished business here, yes.” The way Rose says it makes it feel like a thinly veiled threat.

“A-are you sure? I kinda took down the cult, so you don’t need to worry about that anymore.” You give her a wary look, but she just chuckles in amusement.

“Not that kind of unfinished business. There’s a Your Sanctuary location nearby, so we have to claim it for ourselves.”

“Oh, right.”

“Shall we go?” She holds her hand out for you to take, shooting you a coy smile.

You blink, before returning the smile and taking her hand. “We shall.”

 

* * *

 

“Hello children. I see the two of you have come to claim this spot at last. Well, too bad. I will guard this place with my fearsome claws—and tear the two of you apart!” Mondo Mole grins, teeth and claws dripping with a red substance that looks an awful lot like blood.

“Sure you will.” Rose holds up a single hand, blasting Mondo Mole with an unhealthy amount of PK Freeze Beta.

 

You were pretty surprised the first time Rose used this attack against an enemy. But it was a pleasant surprise—like coming home and finding ice cream in the freezer.

You’re still trying to get used to your PSI Abilities. The most you can pull off is one PK Pranks Alpha. To know that Rose can help you master those abilities—as well as back you up with powerful PSI of her own—is truly a godsend.

 

In front of you, Mondo Mole freezes, turning a pale blue in the dim cave light. Rose turns to you, a palm full of PK Fire.

“See?” She smirks, pointing her free thumb at the frozen Mondo Mole. “You worry too much. This guy has nothing on us.”

But Rose is too over-confident. The frozen body of Mondo Mole twitches, once, twice, thrice, before he’s charging at you, free from his icy prison. Never turn away from the body. No matter how disabled you think it is.

“Rose! Look out!!!” You yell, leaping towards her to knock her out of the way. The PK Fire Alpha is knocked out of her hands, plunging you into near-complete darkness. Your leap of faith is just in time—for her.

You feel Mondo Moles claws rake your skin, and you barely manage to stifle a scream.

“John! Holy shit!” Rose pushes you off her, lighting another PK Fire and illuminating the surrounding area.

“I’m fine…” You pant out, breathing coming hard in ragged breaths.

“Those four giant gashes in your back suggest otherwise!” She yells back, violet eyes wide with worry and fear. Her eyes flare, if possible, wider, and she hurls the PK Fire at Mondo Mole. “Stay away!”

Using your hammer as support, you struggle to get up, ignoring as your back screams bloody murder in the process. “We gotta defeat him…” You gasp as Rose hurls another PK Freeze at Mondo Mole. It’ll stop him, but not for long.

Summoning all the strength you have, you hurl your hammer in the direction of Mondo Mole. As your hammer lands (with a satisfying screech as it does), so do you. Down you go, back unfortunately landing on the hard rock ground.

“Jaspers! Watch over John!” Rose yells, charging forward with PK Freeze and PK Fire trailing from each hand. You’re too hurt to question how a dead cat can protect you from anything, but you’re weaponless and defenceless right now so you aren’t complaining.

Since you’re lying on your back, all you can see are the red, blue and yellow flashes of Rose’s PSI powers hitting Mondo Mole. If the shrieks of animalistic pain are anything to go by, Rose is winning.

After a particularly crackly flash of PK Thunder Alpha, Mondo Mole lets out its final screech.

 

There’s a pause, and suddenly Rose is by your side, helping you up. Your hammer lies a few feet away, covered in the same slimy green goo the Titanic Ant left behind.

“Oh John, I’m so sorry.” Rose sighs, patting your arm with bloodied knuckles. “If I hadn’t turned my back on hi—“

“Don’t be stupid Rose. I’ll be fine. Tis but a scratch and all.” You reassure her. Surely the Your Sanctuary location would be able to heal you up? “C’mon Rose, help me up. We gotta record that melody.”

Although her face is grave, she complies, supporting you as the two of you make your way through the cave exit.

 

You step out into the sunlight, smiling at the greeting the bluebirds tweet at you. The Lilliput Steps run around in a circle, as if a bunch of tiny creatures had played a game of chase.

You and Rose both sag down, relieved as the melody passes through you. It fills you with a sense of determination and strength. You feel the pain of the scratches leave your body, and the wounds heal up. Glancing over to Rose, you notice that she’s clean and injury-free as well.

As the melody fades, you have the vision of a baby with a red cap, but only for a second.

 

You turn to your traveling companion and shoot her a wide, gap-toothed grin.

“Two down, six to go.”

“Yes. But before we go off on our merry quest to find them, first we must tell my mother where I’m going.” She says, standing up and brushing the dirt off her skirt. “Although I doubt she’s noticed where I’ve been or that I’ve been kidnapped.” She adds as an afterthought.

“Don’t say that! Your mother is a very nice woman.” You scold as you stand up to join her.

“You’ve met her, you know she’ll be too drunk to notice.”

“I, well…” You sigh, remembering how Rose’s mother still thought her daughter was in her room.

“Exactly. Now, after that awkward confrontation, we must head to Threed.”

“Cool, I’ve always wanted to go there.”

“Then what are you waiting for? Let’s go!”

 

You nod back at your friend. Together, you walk back into the cave, onwards, towards the rest of your journey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Later, as they're walking through Peaceful Rest Valley:  
> Rose: Wait John, don't you have PSI Lifeup capabilities? Couldn't you have just healed your back with those during the Mondo Mole fight?  
> John: Fuck.


	3. Chapter THREEd

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if the update was a little late, I went on a weekend long camping trip which sucked. Anyway, enjoy!  
> My tumblr is lord-of-cats if you want to hmu or ask me anything!

Your name is Rose Lalonde, and you’re dreading the return to Twoson. Mainly because of your mother.

At least John is here to keep you company. Constantly joyful and full of jokes, you know he’ll be able to cheer up a storm into a blue sky. Despite only knowing each other for less than twenty-four hours, you can confidently say he’s your best friend. You’ve never had a human friend before. It’s kind of nice.

 

“Right now, we’re in _Two_ son. With _two_ party members—“ John is waving his hands about animatedly as he talks.

“Three. Jaspers is displeased you forgot him.” Said ghostly feline narrows his glowing green eyes at John.

“Sorry Jaspers.” He says without skipping a beat, continuing right on with what he was saying. “And _two_ melodies recorded in the Sound Stone. Is it a coincidence? I think not.”

“I think it is a coincidence.” You give him an amused smile. “If there was something fishy going on, I would know.”

“True, I’m probably over-analysing everything.”

“Yes, that does seem to be an aspect of your personality. As well as—“

“ _Anyway_ , speaking of twos…” He cuts you off, shifting his backpack a little awkwardly. Right, you forgot. Don’t psychoanalyse people you’ve just met. “Do you know where the other two are?”

“Sleeping and training.” You don’t even need to check the link to see that. They’re always sleeping and training.

“What how did you—oh yeah, PSI link. Can we talk to them right now?”

“No. Not until they wake to their destiny, so to say. Or when they are needed.”

“Hehehe, I get it. Because one of them is sleeping.” John giggles.

“Hilarious John. Now, hate to break the mood, but we’re here.” You sigh, staring at the familiarity of Lalonde Preschool.

“Great! Let’s go!” John hums, walking up the front yard and up to the door. Nervously, you follow him, stomach butterflies intensifying as he knocks on the door.

 

As always, when your mum opens the door, she’s holding a margarita. When she sees you, her grin widens and she opens her arms, sloshing alcohol everywhere.

“Rosie!” You’re enveloped in her arms, squished up against John. “Did you two have a good playdate?” Mum asks, only letting go when you stop resisting her.

“Mother, I am thirteen. Thirteen year olds don’t have playdates. They ‘hang out’.” You sidestep your mother and head inside. Thankfully, the children have all gone home for the night, so it’s just you, John and mum.

“Well then, did you have fun ‘hanging out’?” Mum follows you into the kitchen, heels clicking on the linoleum tiles. John follows mum but hangs back at the door awkwardly, shuffling his feet.

“Yes. I had a lot of fun.” You sigh, pausing at the base of the stairwell. Here comes the part you’re dreading—actually telling your mother where you’re going now. “So much fun in fact, that I must go on another journey. Across Eageland and to far off Foggyland and Dalaam. It will be tough, and I will be gone for several weeks, but you’ll just have to learn to live without me.”

There, that wasn’t so hard. Besides, mum will probably be too drunk to notice you’re gone anyway.

“John, I’ll be down in a second. I just need to grab a few things and then we can be off.” You head upstairs, not bothering to look back towards the kitchen as you do. You don’t want to see your mother pour herself another drink.

 

A long time ago, when you first began to get visions, you packed a suitcase. At first, it was filled with nonsensical things. Dolls, heavy books on your eldritch abominations, plastic trinkets and such you have long grown out of. Now, it is packed to the brim with much more practical things. A hairbrush, spare clothes that you detest, so you can dirty them up, pads and tampons, four separate trail mixes and a few hundred dollars rolled up in some socks.

You kept it hidden under your bed, hoping your mother would never find it. You know it’ll break her heart.

Crouching down, you push stacks of books aside and wiggle under the bed until your hands find the handle of your leather suitcase. It’s relatively heavy, but you’ll get used to it.

“Rosie?” A surprisingly not-slurred voice cautiously calls to you from your doorway.

Shit. You’ve been hoping to avoid this conversation by getting out of here as soon as possible. But, it seems the fates had other plans.

You sigh, wiggling out from under the bed, suitcase in hand.

 

“Yes mother?” You sit up, but keep your back turned.

“I know you have a destiny to save the world. We both know that. You’ve had dreams of it ever since you were a little girl, running into my bedroom late at night with horrible night terrors. I know you packed that suitcase—ready for anything, that’s my little girl.”

“Mum?” You turn around to face her, suitcase on your lap. Tears are forming on your cheeks, but you wipe them away furiously.

“Yes Rosie, it’s okay. I know you’re scared, and I am too, but now is the time to stand up and muster all your courage. You must stand for the earth and pray for its safety.”

“I-I will. I promise.” You smile tearily at her, picking yourself off the ground. You stumble over to her, wrapping your arms around her in a big hug. “I’m sorry.” You whisper hoarsely.

“What for?” Mum asks, holding you tightly.

“For everything.” You push her away. “Goodbye mum. I promise I’ll see you again.”

And with that, you walk out of your room, wheeling your suitcase behind you and struggling not to cry. John greets you by the stairs, hands out to grab your suitcase. You shake your head. This is your suitcase, your burden, and you will carry it yourself.

 

Together, the two of you walk out of the house you’ve lived in for all of your thirteen years. You’ve left a lot of unsaid things buried there—but you’re coming back.

You did promise your mum after all.

 

* * *

 

Burglin Park is quiet and peaceful in the afternoon sun. A warm breeze is blowing through, ruffling your hair. The spicy scent of Dalaamese food fills your nostrils as you stretch out on the grass. You’ll probably get grass stains on your dress, but you don’t care.

After you left, John took you out for ‘dinner’ at Burglin Park—two ham sandwiches your mother gave him and some kebabs he bought. You’re still upset about leaving home, but at least you’re not crying anymore. That was embarrassing.

John is sitting beside you, a kebab in one hand and a ham sandwich in the other. As you watch, a bit of kebab sauce drips off the kebab and dribbles down his arm.

Disgusted, you turn back to taking refined bites out of your own kebab, being careful not to smudge your lipstick.

 

“Hey! You two kids over there!” Out of the corner of your eye, you spot a fat middle-aged man in an orange shirt waving at you. Beside you, John tenses up a little, but you wave the man over.

“Hello Mr Everdred.” You smile up at him. “Lovely weather today, isn’t it?”

“Hello Rose, it’s nice to see you’re back with us. John?” Everdred smiles back at you before turning his attention to John.

John swallows his mouthful of food before speaking. “Yes Mr Everded?”

“I just came over to congratulate you on rescuing Rose here! You did quite well in disbanding the Happy Happy Cult as well, so props for that as well.” Everdred nods proudly, as if _he_ was the one who did all that.

“Um, thank you?” John gives you a weird look and you shrug in response.

“Here, have this.” Everdred digs around in his pockets, pulling out a thick wad of cash. He throws it and it lands on John’s lap. John’s eyes widen so much they practically bulge out of his head. You’re certain your eyes are in the same state.

“H-Holy shit.” John gasps, reaching out to grab the money. “A-Are you sure?”

“Of course I’m sure! You two kids need it more than me. Besides, what would an old man like me spend this on?” Everdred shrugs. “Good luck kids, you’re going to need it.”

With that, the boss of Burglin Park walks away, off to no doubt to attend to more park business.

 

The two of you sit in silence, staring at the wad of cash in John’s hands. He begins to flick through it, eyes growing wider and wider as he counts them in his head.

“There’s ten thousand dollars in there. Exactly.” You say, saving him the trouble.

“Jesus fuck, that’s a lot of money. How does a man like Everdred get this much money?” He exclaims, tossing it idly in his hand.

“I have no idea, but I do know you better keep it safe. After all, it _is_ ten thousand dollars.”

“Yeah, I’d better.” He shoves it into the pocket of his shorts, causing an awkward bulge at the side of his leg.

The two of you resume your silence, turning back to your ‘dinner’. Before Everdred showed up, you’d already eaten your ham sandwich. Now, all you have left is your kebab. You finish it in quick, successive bites, giving the stick to Jaspers once you’re finished.

“Well, it’s getting late.” John sighs, staring up at the setting sun. “We’d better go and stay the night at the Twoson Hotel.” He begins to gather up his belongings, standing up and swinging his bag over his shoulder.

You decline his unspoken offer of helping you up and get up yourself, shaking off stray blades of grass. Grabbling the handle of your suitcase, you begin wheeling it behind you. Jaspers jumps up on the top of your suitcase and crouches down into cat loaf position.

 

“Anyway, like we were discussing earlier, before we were interrupted by Everdred.” John proclaims, leading you out of the gates of Burglin Park. “The Wizardly Spectacle series.”

“Yes. That is a series that exists. What about it?”

“Well, we were discussing it earlier. You seemed to be enjoying talking about it.” You can sense this is a ploy to get you to stop thinking about your mother, but you don’t mind.

“Alright then. Do you want a simple plot synopsis or a full blown analysis on the series?”

“Um…just a simple plot synopsis should be fine.”

“Let me begin to set the scene. It’s a dark and stormy night when High Wizard Beedlebroff receives a knock at his door. It is a message from the Grand Council of Wizards, and they urgently need his assistance…”

As you talk, John nods his head in a sleepy manner. You know he isn’t really listening, but it’s nice to talk about your favourite book series. The two of you make your way up Main Street, making your way past residential houses and the Chaos Theatre. Just as you pass the Chaos Theatre however, two men who were slouching by their tour bus call out to you.

 

“Hey! John! You rescued her!” The shorter man in the black tuxedo grins, clapping his hands together in amusement.

“Oh! Mr Lucky! It’s so nice to see you again!” John perks up, big grin on his face. He half-jogs over to where the two men are standing, shaking their hands.

“Hello.” You state dryly. You know who these men are of course (who in Twoson doesn’t?), but you have never spoken to them aside from the occasional hello. These two are members of the band the ‘Runaway Five’, which ironically has six members.

Lucky grins at you, gold tooth flashing in his mouth. “It’s nice to see you ain’t kidnapped anymore.”

“Yes, it’s nice to not be kidnapped anymore.” You reply, quickly and calmly.

“I’m proud of you kid. You really showed you have guts in doing that.” Lucky turns back to John. “In fact, I want you to have this.” He continues, shoving two backstage passes into John’s hands.

“It’s on the house for the little lovebirds.” Underneath his sunglasses, he winks at the two of you before waving you off. “We’d better go, the show’s starting soon. See the two of you at there!”

The two men walk off together, laughing and talking animatedly.

“Hmm, we might as well go, right?” John asks, holding up the tickets.

“What could go wrong?”

 

* * *

 

“It’s not that pressuring really, being in debt. I mean, all we owe is ten thousand dollars, you get used to it after a while.” Nice muses, more to himself than to you.

“Uh, right.” You take a sip of tea, using it as an excuse to not talk to anyone.

 

John and yourself have accepted Lucky’s request to see the show and are currently having tea with the other band members. Having never been inside the Chaos Theatre, this is a whole new experience for you.

It’s dark outside, well past most children’s bedtimes. You don’t doubt that this concert will carry way into the night. You’re tired—looking over at John you can tell you both are—but you don’t want to be rude to the Runaway Five. They did invite you here after all.

 

“I’m really excited to see the show!” John chirps, spilling biscuit crumbs everywhere. “I’ve never been to a concert before.”

“I’m glad you are kid. I’m also glad this is your first concert—we’ll really show you how to rock!” Lucky takes a big bite of his chocolate biscuit, spraying even more biscuit crumbs everywhere. Subtly, you brush the crumbs off.

“I can’t wait.” John beams.

“Well you won’t have to. We’re on in five.” Gorgeous strides into the room, lugging a saxophone behind him.

“You kids better get out.” Lucky says, standing up. “Don’t want to miss your first concert now, do we?”

“Oh yeah! Thankyou Mr Lucky, for inviting us!” John bows slightly, prompting you to do the same. “Good luck on your performance!” He chirps before ushering you out the backstage door and into the audience seating area.

 

John leads you down the aisles, hand a gentle comfort on your back, before plopping himself down on his reserved seat. You sigh, before settling yourself down in a more lady-like manner. Jaspers jumps onto your lap, milk-treading with his paws and purring contentedly.

“This is so exciting!” John grins, staring up at the stage in awe.

“It hasn’t even started yet.” You state dryly.

“I know!” He gasps, looking fit to burst at any second.

“Well, you’ll just have to be—“

 _“Ladies and gentlemen!”_ A voice booms out from the loudspeakers. The lights on the audience begin to dim as the stage lights begin to brighten. _“Chaos Theatre is proud to present—the Runaway Five!”_

All the lights turn off, except for two shining spotlights panning across the stage. Gorgeous and Lucky dart on stage, running to catch up to their spotlights.

They missed their cue. You can see now why your mother forbade you from seeing their show.

But, John seems to love it. As soon as the vocals kick in, he’s nearly standing up in his seat, big grin plastered on his face. He seems ready to explode in excitement—any second now, it will be raining John.

You watch the performance with a cynical eye—but deep down, you love it. There’s something about the lights, the sounds, the smells, the atmosphere. It makes you want to go to more concerts, to feel more of this special type of adrenaline.

You won’t scream and holler like the others in the audience (John), but you will enjoy it. Quietly.

 

All too soon, the song ends. The audience area is lit back up. The Runaway Five bow and rush offstage, followed by cheers and claps.

 _“The Runaway Five everyone! They’ll be here until they pay off their debts!”_ The announcer booms, once again.

The audience begins chatting amongst themselves, excitedly discussing the show as they get up and leave. Some patrons stay, but most leave. It seems that the Runaway Five only perform one song each performance. Which is fine by you. Honest.

“Rose.” John whispers, leaning forward on his seat and patting the bulge in his pocket. “I know how we can spend the ten thousand dollars.”

You give him a dry look, knowing full-well what he plans to do. Unfortunately, your stare isn’t withering enough to stop him and he jumps to his feet.

“Come on Rose!” He runs down the aisle, skirting around legs and people and bags. You sigh, scooping up Jaspers from your lap and following your friend, apologising to everyone as you go.

 

You meet him outside the Chaos Theatre Management Office, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt and tapping his feet impatiently. When he sees you, his feet still and his eyes light up. Sighing once more, you head over to him.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” You ask, knowing it’s futile. He has made up his mind—you can feel it. Although, you’re not complaining, you just think he’s being incredibly impulsive. But…the two of you need to get to Threed, and this is the only way.

John nods, before turning and knocking on Management’s door. There’s a pause, and then a stern, steady voice beckons you in.

You follow closely behind John as he walks up to the Manager’s desk. You scowl at the Manager, lacing your gaze with a _little_ persuasive PSI power.

“Yes? What did you come in here for? Hurry up, hurry up, I don’t have all night you know.” The Manager snaps, looking down at you as if you are mere children. Which you are, but that’s still a nasty look on his face.

“We are here to pay off the Runaway Five’s debt.” John announces.

The Manager starts laughing—a loud and hearty guffaw that makes his face redden and sweat gleam on his forehead. The laughter only stops when John slams the wad of bills down on the desk.

The Manager places a monocle on his eye and leans down to examine the money. After a few minutes of hushed mumbling, the Manager sits back up.

“Holy shit. This is real…actual real money! Okay, the debt has been repaid. Antoinette?” The Manager buzzes in his assistant. “Get the Runaway Five in here.”

Immediately, a jazzy theme begins to play and six men twirl into the room.

“Yeah boss?” Lucky snaps his fingers, twirling to a stop in front of the Manager.

“You’re all free. These two kids paid off your debt.”

Their response is instantaneous. They whoop and holler with joy, grabbing each other and jumping up and down in excitement. One by one, they collect themselves and thank you heartily, nearly ripping both your arms off in thanks. Finally, only Lucky is left. He takes off his hat, a single tear in his eye.

“Children…we owe you everything. We are in your debt. Is there…anything we can do to repay it?”

John opens his mouth to say ‘Don’t worry about it’, but you interject.

“Could you please give us a lift to Threed?”

 

* * *

 

Heavy jazz music is the only thing you’ll be able to hear for the next week.

The Runaway Five play their music so loud, you can feel the little hairs on your arm stand up. John is sitting beside you, yelling at Nice, trying in vain to have a conversation. Jaspers is…gone. Loud music scares away ghosts.

Your luggage is in the trunk, but you pulled out a pillow for the purpose of rest. You know the music is so loud your eardrums might burst, but you’ve slept in worse conditions.

You shift your position on your pillow and close your eyes, tuning out the jazz music. It’s approximately ten o clock, and you are very tired. You still have around two more hours until you reach Threed, meaning you’ll be arriving there at around midnight. You normally go to bed at around eight. You _need_ your beauty sleep.

Slowly, by ignoring every aspect of your surroundings, you begin to drift off to sleep.

 

_Hazy images. Snapshots of memories. Snow. School. Hot Chocolate. The warm hand of someone else’s best friend. Wide grins shared over stupid in-jokes you have no hope in understanding._

_“Jade!” Everything comes into focus. Well, sort of. For you, the possessor, anyway. “Jade look! It’s snowing outside!” The bubbly voice calls again, alongside a confusing rush of feelings that aren’t your own._

_“It’s always snowing.” You grumble, but not in your voice. This voice is deep and scratchy and you recognise it instantly._

_The other girl in the room blows a raspberry. “What’s got you in such a mood, Miss Grumpy Gills?”_

_Another unfamiliar happy tingle in your chest at that. More thoughts rushing to your head. You roll over, and the bedsheets rustle and twist around your body. “I don’t know. Just one of those days I guess…”_

_“Hmmm.” You feel a weight dip on your bed and a hand touch your leg._

_“Fef?”_

_“Yeah Jade?”_

_“I feel like somethings coming. Something big. I feel like I’ll be the one who has to stop it. I-I don’t know what to do.”_

_“Oh Jade…” A soft sigh huffs outward, billowing out into a cloud of smoke._

_The vision fades, leaving you in a void filled with multi-coloured clouds. They twirl around idly, giving you flashes and glimpses of more memories and happenings. As each memory whizzes past you, they whisper your name._

_Rose. We’re here Rose, wake up. Rose. Come on Rose, we have to go. Rose? Gosh, she really is asleep. No matter, I think I can lift her. Rose… Rose…_

_Over and over as you float upwards. Slowly, the multi-coloured world fades away, leaving you in a quiet stillness…_

* * *

 

Your name is John Egbert and you think you’re getting the hang of this PSI thing.

 

Last night, you arrived at Threed at around midnight. Rose fell asleep in the car, although you don’t know how with that loud racket playing. But, when you arrived in Threed, she wouldn’t wake up. Gorgeous suggested that perhaps you should go to a hotel room, to get some sleep. After thanking the Runaway Five, you bade them farewell and lugged Rose and all your luggage to Threed Hotel.

While you wait for Rose to wake up, you’re experimenting with your PSI powers. The feather in front of you crackles with a blue electricity (PSI you mentally correct yourself), corresponding with the light surrounding your finger. As you jiggle your finger, the feather jiggles as well. Maybe soon, you’ll be able to lift heavier things.

Your gaze shifts from the feather and towards a small porcelain figure of a cat. An idea pops into your head, as fast as lightning. You shift your PSI influence over to the porcelain figure, slowly raising it into the air.

It spins, catching the fluorescent hotel light. The porcelain lights up, highlighting the intricate details and faded colours of the piece. Weirdly, it brings a smile to your face. Even though you find this porcelain cat to be utterly hideous, someone put effort into this. This was someone’s pride and joy—as is obvious by the amount of work put into this.

 

“John? What the hell are you doing?” Rose’s bleary voice comes from behind you. You startle, nearly dropping the porcelain cat in the process. Luckily Rose catches it with her PSI, gently placing it on the table.

“Looking at this cool handmade porcelain cat while waiting for you to wake up of course.” You turn to face her. Rose looks especially beautiful this morning—blonde hair dishevelled and makeup smeared all over her face.

“John.” She gives you a _look._ You know the one. “That porcelain cat was made in a factory.”

“Oh.”

“Hmm. Yeah. So, where are we anyway?”

“In a room in the Threed Hotel! You wouldn’t wake up, so I kinda had to drag you here.”

“That’s probably why my body hurts so much.” She winces, cracking her back.

“Sorry! Anyway, I was thinking we could explore Threed today.”

“What? No ‘Hello Rose’? No ‘How was your sleep’?”

“Uh, hello Rose? How was your sleep?”

She snorts out a huff of laughter. “It was restful. I had a prophetic dream, of sorts. But a nice one. So what do you want to do in Threed? We have plenty of time to kill before we meet our next friend.”

“How do you…never mind. Prophetic dream. I was thinking we could just explore and roll with it? We could go shopping, or have a picnic, or watch a movie…whatever goes.”

She nods, hair somewhat bobbing with her movement. “Sounds good. But first, I need to get dressed. And we need breakfast as well. _Then_ we explore Threed.”

 

* * *

 

“Well, this certainly wasn’t what I expected.” You say, clutching your bag straps tighter to your chest.

“How did you not see this last night?” Rose exclaims, lighting up a finger with PK Fire.

“I don’t know! It was dark, I was tired, you were snoring very, very loudly. Take your pick.”

 

Threed is strangely dark and gloomy. The clouds overhanging the city create a dull, choking atmosphere. It’s foggy—thick and purple and hiding things, terrible things. In the fog, you see several shapes moving about in the darkness, vaguely humanoid and reeking of danger.

This place looks nothing like the sunny brochures displayed in the hotel foyer. This place looks…rotted, haunted, infected. There aren’t any people that you can see—and why would there be, when this place feels like a graveyard.

 

“Well, we should just try and make the most of this. I mean, some bad weather can’t dampen our day of fun.” You straighten your back and put on a chirpy voice, trying to put a positive attitude into this place.

“I don’t think this is simple ‘bad weather’.” Rose says sullenly, following behind you nonetheless.

“Well the clouds in the sky…the fog…It’s just typical bad weather Rose.” You hum, a little shakily. You follow the main road south, grateful for the ball of PK Fire on Rose’s finger.

“The moaning coming from said fog, the moving shapes…the shivers down my spine, as if something is watching us…” Rose continues your list.

“Rose! Try to lighten up, ok? It’s just a bit of bad weather. Pretty soon, the sun will come out and the fog will lift. Being negative about it won’t make the sunshine come any faster.”

“Neither will being positive.”

You sigh heavily, choosing to ignore her negative comment. All this walking through thick fog is starting to get you down. You can hardly tell where you’re going! At least the main street beneath your feet gives you _some_ instance as to where you are. You turn once again, following it.

“Well, I think we’re in some kind of shopping street? I can see a pizza place, a drug store, a department store—“

“Good.” Rose pushes past you. “This place is giving me the creeps.” She sets off at a brisk pace, causing you to have to run after her.

“Roooose, wait up.” You whine, breath coming out in wheezy puffs. Rose slows down, but continues her charge towards the department store. You ignore the soft moans and wheezes coming from the fog and follow Rose into the shopping centre.

 

The bright fluorescent lights of the department store heavily contrast the dark, foggy streets of Threed. You blink rapidly to adjust, so you’re not blinded.

When they do adjust, you’re nearly blown away.

This place is so shiny and clean! The floors are practically mirrors—to test this theory, you look down at the floor and see your own reflection staring back at you.

There are people—actual people walking around from shop to shop and buying things. Everyone seems unperturbed about the possible zombie apocalypse outside, it’s so strange.

 

“So, Rose.” You catch up to your friend, still out of breath. “Where do you want to go first?”

“Hmmm…” She thinks, twirling slowly on the balls of her feet. “It’s surprisingly desolate of shops I like. Perhaps this one would be a good starter?” She points at a gift shop that just so happens to be the closest shop.

“Sounds good.” You shrug, leading her towards the shop.

It’s filled with cheap little knick-knacks and thingy-ma-bobs. Porcelain cats (just like the one in the hotel room), plastic souvenirs, magazines upon magazines upon magazines, craft materials, candy bars and celebration cards. It looks relatively cheap in here.

You drift from the entrance to the craft aisle, separating from Rose, who seems content in reading magazines from the magazine rack.

You were thinking of buying Rose something to commemorate your adventures together. From her room, you know she seems to be a creative sort, even if those creations seem to be a little…dark for your tastes. You browse the craft aisle, distaste growing each passing second. No, Rose wouldn’t like any of these!

You’re about to give up and find something else when something catches your eye.

It’s perfect!

 

“Hey Rose! Come here!” You call, beckoning her with your hands. You hear a sigh, and then her footsteps coming closer. “What do you think?” You hold up your gift for her to see.

“Really John? You’re going to take up knitting?” Her eyebrow raises in amusement and you begin to think that perhaps this _isn’t_ the perfect gift.

“What! No! This is for you!”

“Oh.” She looks surprised, as if she hadn’t predicted this.

“Yeah! I figured, because you seem to get busy with your hands—“

“Watch your context John.”

“That’s not what I meant. You seem to be the type who wants to learn about everything possible, and I thought maybe you’d like to learn how to knit?”

“Is that a challenge?” She raises an eyebrow.

“What! No!” You splutter, but she’s already taking the knitting needles out of your hands.

“Your bribe and challenge has been accepted.” She smiles, balancing the needles on her palm.

“What! It’s not a bribe! What would I even bribe you _for_ anyway?”

“My friendship, or forgiveness. Either one. I _know_ you’ve been in my room John.”

“I’m sorry! I just wanted to—“

“It’s fine. You’re already forgiven. I returned the favour. I never knew one could have so many movie posters on one wall! Quite astonishing really.” She muses, making stabbing motions with the needles.

“What!? How’d you see my room? And those needles are for knitting, not stabbing!” You exclaim, blushing in annoyance.

“Why can’t they be both?” Rose asks, completely avoiding the question. You sigh, giving it up. She probably used her psychic powers or something.

 

“Well, I’m going to buy these for you. Then we can move to the next shop or whatever.” You take the needles out of her hands, and pick up a ball of purple yarn as well.

You head over to the cashier, smiling cheerily. “Hi! Just these please!”

The cashier—a young teenager covered in freckles—looks up from their magazine and reluctantly scans your items.

“So, pretty bad weather outside, huh?” You say, making conversation.

The teenager looks at you like you’re crazy. “Are you kidding? You went outside? With all the zombies?”

“Zombies? I didn’t notice any of those.”

“How could you not? They’re everywhere! It’s being heralded as the apocalypse! It’s not at all like the movies prepared us for!” The teenager throws their arms wide, nearly knocking over a jar of wasabi peas. “Anyway, that’ll be $9.99.”

You fish out the money and pay the cashier, thanking them as you do. You take your items and leave, but the cashiers words haunt you. Zombie apocalypse? How did that happen?

 

“What’s got you so down?” Rose asks when you meet her outside the shop.

“Apparently it’s an actual zombie apocalypse outside.” You reply, handing her the plastic bag.

“What? Making the lady carry the shopping? John, how ungentlemanly!” Rose mock-gasps, hand flying to her chest.

“Rose. This is yours.” You shove it against her chest, playfully of course.

“I know.” She smiles playfully back, taking the plastic shopping bag.

Suddenly, a very familiar man pirouettes in from the ceiling, camera in hand.

“Pictures taken instantaneously! I’m a photographic genius, if I do say so myself! Okay, get ready for an instant memory! Look at the camera! Ready? Say…’fuzzy pickles’” He chirps.

“Hey Mr Camera Guy!” You chirp, waving at him.

You wrap an arm around Rose, pulling her closer. “Fuzzy Pickles!” You say, making a peace sign with your hands.

After the anticipated flash, camera guy pirouettes off, back up into the ceiling.

“John.” Rose starts. “What. The. Fuck.”

 

* * *

 

After a long, hard day of shopping, all you want to do is rest in a hotel and not deal with the zombie apocalypse. Rose is the same.

But, she diligently uses her PK Fire to light your way back through the fog. You’re laden down with shopping bags, but it was totally worth it. You spent practically all day in the department store, and now it’s dark outside.

Well, darker than it was before.

 

The shuffles and moans you heard before are much more subdued, barely there anymore. You’re not complaining, but it seems a little…suspicious.

“Nearly there! See that lamp post? I remember it being a few feet from the hotel.” You chirp, trying to keep the spirits up.

“That’s great. My legs are _killing_ me.” Rose groans, stretching.

“Hey! I think I can see someone through the fog!” You call, pointing ahead. It’s a blonde woman in a black dress. She’s standing in front of the hotel, seemingly beckoning the two of you.

“Hey, she kinda looks like Liv Tyler! I’m going to say hello!” You dash ahead, ignoring Rose’s angry yells.

“What no, John that isn’t! Oh never mind, he’s already following her.”

 

When you reach the front steps of Threed Hotel, the lady is gone. But, when you peer through the open hotel door, you see her waiting in the hotel foyer.

“Hey! Wait up!” You call, jogging through the foyer. She’s gone again, and so is everyone else in the hotel (not that you notice).

You walk into the hallway, arriving just in time to see the woman disappear into your hotel room.

“What…?” You whisper to yourself, following her in.

 

As soon as you enter, the nauseating scent of rotted flesh fills your nostrils. Several creatures you can only describe as ’zombies’ surround you…and the exit.

You start hyperventilating, getting flashbacks of your time in the police station. Except this is worse.

The zombies start to close in on you as the blonde woman laughs. Their rotted stench and grotesque bodies are the only things on your mind. Their hands brush your body, making you feel violated and sick. Literally sick.

You begin to sway, nausea rising.

“Rose…” You whisper, a desperate plea for your best friend to run, before darkness consumes you and you fall to the ground.

 

* * *

 

Everything hurts.

It’s like someone cut your body into a million teeny-tiny pieces and then put that in a blender. Or someone lit you on fire. Or froze you under one thousand feet of ice.

 

“I told you it wasn’t Liv Tyler.” Rose’s voice cuts into your ears, sharp and unforgiving.

You don’t reply, instead you focus on opening your eyes. When you open them, there doesn’t seem to be much difference. From the cold rocky surface your back is lying on, you’d say you’re in some kind of cave.

“What…happened?”

“We got mugged.” Rose says simply.

“Oh. Shit.”

“Yeah.” Rose says dryly. “Don’t worry though. I called for help.”

You nod, sitting up. “I’m guessing we have to wait for her to come?”

“Precisely.” Comes the confident reply. “It’s time the third Chosen Four wakes up to her destiny.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave kudos and reviews if the Runaway Five saved your life (or if you liked my fic)


	4. Winters Green

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I recently got my hair cut and it's gone from touching-my-ass to chin-length at the longest. I don't miss my hair, I only miss being able to hair whip people.

_Jade, wake up Jade! My name is Rose, and we need your help. I am here with another friend, John. We are trapped in Threed, and need your help._

_Please Jade, it is of the utmost importance that you come to our aid. You must go south—to your Grandfathers lab. Then use one of his machines to fly to Threed._

_To repeat myself, I am Rose. I am with John, and we need your help. Please wake up Jade…_

Far to the North…

 

Your name is Jade Harley and you just had the strangest dream.

It was of a girl, and she was telling you to travel all the way to Threed. You’ve been having dreams like this a lot lately—a young girls voice, a young boys voice, just...talking. It felt so real…they always do.

You would normally just ignore it, but something about the urgency in the girl’s voice makes you reconsider.

 

You sit up, pushing the covers off your bed and onto the floor. You put one foot down on the floor cautiously. Once your foot is safe from any animal shit or broken machinery, you stand up, swaying a little.

As you make your way over to your desk, you’re greeted with the angered shrieks of Feferi’s birds in their cages. You’re technically not supposed to have them in your dorm room, but Feferi’s mum pulled a few strings. Man, your roommates mum is loaded.

Glancing at the clock, you realise it’s around midnight. Feferi is asleep, mumbling incoherent nothings as she snores. If you’re going to do this (this being sneaking out of your boarding school late at night, all because you had a dream), you’ll need to be quiet. Feferi has done so much for you, you can’t load her with more of your shit.

Silently, you pull out your school bag and empty it of your school books. As quietly as possible, you begin to pack things you’ll need for the trip.

From the sounds of it, you won’t be back for a while. If you really are going to travel to your Grandfathers lab and fly to another country, then you need to be prepared.

A ruler, a protractor, your tools, two big bottle rockets that somehow fit into your bag and two bottles of hormone pills. You’re not sure this is enough to last you for however long you’ll be gone, but you’ll just have to make sacrifices.

 

Bag packed, you sling it over your shoulder, taking one last look around yours and Feferi’s shared room.

To the corner by Feferi’s bed are the multitude of aquariums, cages and beds that house Feferi’s many, many ‘pets’. Since Feferi is studying biology, it was used as an excuse (and her rich mothers bribe) to keep them, despite Snow Wood Boarding School’s strict policy on animals. Feferi cleans up after them, but sometimes she misses things. Hence you looking for animal shit before placing your feet on the ground.

The floor, your desk and your bed are all covered in broken bits of machinery that you have been working tirelessly to repair. You guess those projects will have to be put on hold. Where there isn’t scrap machinery or animal cages, there are your plants. You’ll miss them all.

Your room is lit only by the string of fairy lights sticky-taped to the walls and ceiling. The walls are covered in animal posters—the kind prepubescent girls hang on the walls of their room.

You turn to go—it’s best you don’t linger, or else you’ll get second thoughts and stay. You know what you’re about to do is reckless—not to mention stupid—but you can’t help but feel as if you’re supposed to do this. That sneaking out of boarding school in the middle of the night is your destiny.

 

“Jade? Where are you going?” A sleepy, yet concerned voice calls out to you.

Shit. You woke Feferi. You were really hoping that she wouldn’t be awake when you left. You wouldn’t be able to live with yourself if you saw the devastation you caused your best friend.

“Nowhere…” You pivot on the balls of your feet, turning to face your best friend.

“Don’t lie to me Jade.” Feferi frowns, sitting up in bed. “I can see that back-pack slung over your shoulder.”

“I…I had a dream.” You look down at the floor, refusing to meet her gaze.

“Again?” Feferi pushes her blankets off and steps out of bed, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. “This is the third time this week.”

“It was different this time. Those other times it was just snippets of conversations, of memories. This one was so clear! I know their names now! The girl is Rose and the boy is John. They want me to travel to Threed, to free them from the predicament they’ve found themselves in!”

“Ok. I understand, but let me accompany you out of school. You know the rules.” Feferi nods, usually sunny expression downcast. You wince, hating the hurt expression on her face.

“Feferi, no! I don’t want you to get in trouble because of me!” Actually, you know she’ll be fine. You just don’t want to see the expression on her face when you leave.

“I’ve made up my mind Jade, just like you have. If you’re going to leave in the middle of the night on some reckless mission to rescue two strangers you’ve never met, then I’m going to escort you to the door and help any way I can!” Feferi picks up her jacket from the floor and puts it on, shaking out her dark hair from the hood.

You say nothing, knowing that she’d already made up her mind. So, you follow her out into the corridor, gripping the straps of your bag tight.

 

“What have you got in there?” Feferi gestures to your back pack, smile back and in full force.

“Um…My tools, my hormones, some bottle rockets…” You scrunch up your nose in thought, trying to remember just what you packed.

“That’s not enough to last you! Before you go, we’d better pop into the lab and see Jake—he’ll be able to equip you a bit better than a few bottle rockets and some wrenches and screws.” Feferi pokes an accusatory finger at your back pack, chuckling a little. She leads you down the corridor and towards a flight of stairs that lead to Jake’s lab. Well, the school lab, but it’s pretty much Jake’s.

“Hey! I can pack just fine!” You protest, swinging your bag away from her accusatory finger. “Besides, if they called on me it’s obviously a mechanical problem they’re having. I don’t need all that other stuff—I just need my tools! Then we’ll be right!”

“Jade Harley.” Feferi stops in her descent down the stairs and turns to you. “You may be the smartest girl I’ve ever met, but you are so dumb sometimes! If you’re going on a rescue mission, you need food! You need weapons, supplies, clothes, sleeping gear! You can’t just go out, off into the world without preparing!”

“Well I wasn’t given much time _to_ prepare! I’m not psychic you know!” You place your hands on your hips and frown. You’re tired and cranky, and you’re beginning to regret ever getting up.

Feferi looks back, equally as tired. There’s something in her eyes that makes you immediately regret the tone you used.

“Feferi, I’m so sorry! I’m tired and snappy. What I’m doing is reckless and stupid, I should have never dragged you into this!” Instead of the snappy reply you were half expecting, you’re bundled up in a hug.

“Oh Jade, you may think you’re stupid and reckless, but that’s what I love about you. Now, we’d better go get supplies from Jake.” She lets go and skips off down the stairs.

“Hah—Holy shit.” You mumble to yourself. For some reason, your heart begins to beat extra fast at her words. Trying to control your blush, you hurry down the stairs after her.

 

Once you’ve made your way down the stairs (safely, without once falling), you quickly head over to where Feferi is waiting. She’s standing outside Jake’s lab, but once she sees you heading over, she pushes her way inside.

You follow wordlessly, a little nervous in leaving.

As you enter, Jake looks up from his workbench, with what appears to be a broken robot in front of him. His face lights up in an honest grin and he claps his hands together.

“Feferi! Je—Jade. Jade. Sorry, my mistake.” Jake’s grin slides off his face and he gives you an apologetic look.

“It’s fine. I’m used to it.” You wave his apologies off, and the relaxed smile on his face returns.

“So, what can I do for you two lovely ladies at—“ His eyes flick down to his watch and back up to the two of you. “—ten to one in the morning?”

“Jade’s going on an adventure and needs supplies.” Feferi says bluntly, pointing at your back-pack. “She thinks she can survive on trail mix and snow—honestly, this girl.” She shakes her head, fuchsia curls bouncing as her head moves.

“An adventure huh? Where to?” Jake beams, ever excited at the prospect of adventure.

“Eagleland. I had a dream of a girl, calling for my help. She said something about Threed, and my grandfather, and needing my help in a rescue.” You say, slinging your back pack off your shoulder and plonking it down on Jake’s workbench.

“Ah, the prophetic call to adventure. So clichéd, but so, so good.” He hums, opening up your back pack and digging through it. “Your working tools—important to any good robotics engineers such as ourselves. Your hormones—yes, those are important… An…egg? Why do you have this?” He looks up, holding the boiled egg up for you all to see.

“I don’t know. It was on my workbench.” You shrug. “Honestly, I forgot it was in there.”

Jake sighs, putting down the egg and pulling out the final things in your back pack—the big bottle rockets.

“Ahh, what beauties! Jade, you simply must tell me your supplier.” Jake says, bringing the bottle rockets closer to admire them further.

“I made it myself, with supplies from your lab that I…borrowed.” You cut yourself off before you can say ‘stole’.

“Jiminy Jumping Crickets!” He yells, nearly dropping the bottle rockets. “That’s amazing Jade!”

“Jake, your Southern Foggylander is showing.” You chuckle at his strange wording.

 

“Aaaanyway.” Feferi puts her hands down on the table, drawing all attention to her. “Jade needs supplies if she’s gonna do this.”

“Ah, yes. Hold on one second ladies.” Jake crouches down, and you hear the sound of drawers opening and closing. After a few minutes, he pops back up, holding a dark green canvas bag.

“This is my old gear. I used to use it when grandma and I would go on our camping trips. You can keep it—you need it more than me.” He hands it to you and you immediately begin to dig through it.

A small tent, non-perishables in cans, toiletries, spare clothes (not to your taste, but it’s the thought that counts) and metal cutlery are just some of the things you find inside the bag.

“Wow Jake, I-I don’t know what to say…” You say, knowing how important things like this are to him. “Thankyou.”

“Actually, there’s more.” Jake pulls out a black handgun out of his workbench drawer. “There are monsters outside, and the local animals have been acting strange and violent lately. You’ll need protection.”

You take the gun, marvelling at its weight. You have shot a gun before—Snow Wood Boarding Academy has a shooting range and offers lessons—but you prefer the slender barrel of a rifle to a clunky handgun. But, this is a gift and you will accept it with grace.

“Thanks Jake, you really didn’t have to.” You smile, ignoring Feferi’s disgusted glare at the gun in your hand.

“No Jade, I did! I want you to be totally prepared for your first real adventure!”

“I—I’d better get going.” You say, forcing a chipper smile onto your face. “Goodbye Jake, I’ll miss you.” You lean over his workbench and pull him into a hug.

You let go, repacking your bag and slinging it over your shoulder. You pick up the canvas bag Jake gave you as well, grunting at the weight. “Thanks for everything.”

You smile and wave in farewell cheerily. He returns the gesture, smiling a forlorn smile. “Good luck Jade.”

 

You walk out of Jake’s lab, closely followed by Feferi. She quickly overtakes you however, and leads you to the front doors and outside the school building. It all flashes by too fast, and there’s no one to prolong your leaving as it’s literally one in the morning.

Snow Wood, as always, is snowing. Big, white flakes of snow drift down from the grey clouds above, tangling up in your dark hair and melting into your patchy skin. Your breath comes out in a puffy cloud, and it swirls around you like a mist.

Ahead of you are the wrought iron gates emblazoned proudly with your schools logo. Your blazer displays the same markings, as does Feferi’s, as does Jake’s.

You walk to them, snow crunching under your feet. You place one hand on the freezing iron bars, staring at the wintery plains beyond the gate.

 

“You’re really doing it, huh?” Feferi pipes up from behind you.

“Yeah. I am.” You say, and it finally hits you. You’re going off in the middle of the night on a rescue mission, without even knowing the people you’re supposed to be rescuing! You’re leaving behind your best friend, and heading out into the cold, dark landscape in front of you.

“Well, like Jake always says, the call to adventure is hard to resist. Sometimes, you need to leave everything behind for the greater good—and I feel like this is one of those times. Please, stay safe. And call me. I don’t want to be constantly worried about you!” Feferi bites her lip, concern in her dark grey eyes.

“I will Feferi, although I don’t think there’ll be any phones in the snow outside.” You joke, and much to your relief, she cracks a smile.

“It’ll be cold outside.” Feferi tugs at the purple scarf around her neck.

“Not to be rude, but it is kind of snowing?” You say, holding up a hand to emphasise your point. A little bit of snow piles up on it, but not by much.

“Which is why you’ll need this!” Feferi slides her scarf off her neck, leaning forward to drape it around your shoulders.

“Feferi!” You protest, but she shushes you, gently forcing the scarf upon you.

“Keep it! I know how you get in cold weather! You say it’s not cold, and you refuse to wear any warm things! Then, you get a cold and complain to me for _hours_.” Feferi pouts, and your heart pounds in your chest at the motion. You don’t know why. It does that a lot.

“In short, wear my scarf.”

“If you insist.” You chuckle, wrapping the scarf tighter around your neck. It smells like Feferi’s shampoo and miscellaneous animals.

“I’d better go.” You say, flicking your gaze away from your friend for the millionth time this night. “People I’ve never met to rescue and all.” You turn back around, placing your hands back on the iron gate. You push it—then pull it—but to no avail.

“They lock it every night, remember?”

“Oh, yeah.”

“Jade, come here. I’ll give you a boost over there.”

 

Obediently, you turn back around once more. You sling your back pack off your shoulder and set it down in the snow, next to your canvas bag. You trust Feferi to toss them over once you’re over the gate.

Feferi wraps her arms around you, before hoisting you up in the air. For such a small and chubby girl, she has a surprising amount of strength. You’ve never seen her work out, but perhaps carrying so many heavy animals and cages over the years have given her hidden muscles.

“Ok Jade, get ready to grab the top of the fence!” Feferi grins, lifting you higher. You reach upwards, hands outstretched, your fingers curled around the iron gate. Feferi lets go, and you use your feet to scramble over the fence and over the other side.

A few seconds later, Feferi chucks your bags over, and you catch them both, ignoring the suspicious rattling coming from inside. You pick them up, slinging them back over your shoulder.

“Goodbye Feferi. I’ll miss you.” You say, back to the school building and facing the snowy landscape before you. You take a step forward, but Feferi calls you back.

“Wait! Jade!” She calls, and you pause. “Stay safe! Call me whenever you see a phone, and make sure you eat right and sleep right…I know you think you don’t need to, but you do!”

“I know, I already promised that!”

“It’s just…we’ll always be best friends, right?”

“Always.” You turn back to her, smiling with tears in your eyes. Looking at her through your coke-bottle glasses, you notice she’s crying too. “Goodbye Feferi.”

 

And with that, you turn away from your best friend of ten years, taking a step into the unknown.

Your journey is just beginning.

 

* * *

 

It’s cold outside, but at least it’s warm in the drugstore a few kilometres south of Snow Wood. You’re surprised it’s even open at this time of night, let alone full of people.

Well, not full, but there are quite a few for two in the morning.

The cashiers, of course, but there are two other people and a dog.

You slip past them, heading straight towards one of the two aisles, feigning a search for something. You don’t have any money, so you can’t buy anything. This makes you feel super awkward, as everyone is staring at you. Soon enough however, they turn back to their own things. Apparently you’re not interesting enough to stare at for longer than a minute.

You don’t mind, it gives you time to browse the aisles of the store, and bask in the glorious heater without interruption. Or…so you thought.

 

“Hey kid, wanna buy a pack of gum?” The other woman in the aisle says, blonde perm bobbing with her hair.

“Oh I’d love to! But…unfortunately I don’t have any money.” You chirp back. It’s so frustrating you forgot to pack money! Out of everything, it’s probably the most important thing you’ll need. This sucks, because having gum to chew would be really nice. You haven’t eaten since dinner.

“That’s okay. You can have it for free.” The woman digs around in her pockets and chucks a small packet of gum at you.

“Oh! Thank you so much!” You gasp, catching it in your upturned palms.

“Don’t mention it, you look like you need some sustenance, kid.” The woman nods as a kind of salute before turning back to browsing the shelves.

 

Deciding to stop taking a break and continue on, you pocket the gum and make your way out of the store. Or, you would, if it weren’t for the giant dog by the counter.

He’s got an adorable green bandanna wrapped around his neck and the fluffiest white fur you’ve ever seen. When you walk past, he perks up sniffing the air frantically and wagging his tail.

“Gum?” He barks, tail furiously wagging and drool hanging all over the place. Who are you to refuse a face like that?

You unwrap the gum wrapper and hand the dog the tasty insides. He gobbles it up, chewing frantically. You ignore the fact that a dog probably shouldn’t be eating gum.

You give him a farewell pat and walk out of the store, wincing at the bitter winds that blow through your very bones as you do. Despite what Jake said, you haven’t come across any angry animals or monsters yet. That dog back in the drug store was the only animal you’ve seen since you left Snow Wood.

 

The snow crunches under your boots, leaving footprints in the snow. The sky above is unpolluted, and a million twinkling stars shine from above.

You stifle a yawn, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes. You really should sleep—it is two in the morning after all. But Rose and John need your help—why else would she call you in the middle of the night?

You can’t sleep now—you have to save them!

You continue walking forward, struggling against the waves of tiredness threatening to swallow you. Your limbs are screaming at you to stop and rest, but you ignore them. Each step soon becomes a struggle, before your limbs eventually give out.

Your knees sag to the floor. Immediately, your skirt dampens from the snow, sticking to your legs. You let out a scream of frustration when your legs don’t let you back up.

Much to your surprise, just as you’re about to collapse, a firm snout presses against your back and nudges you up. With the mysterious animals help, you struggle to your feet.

“Thankyou!” You turn to thank the animal, before realising it’s the dog from the drugstore.

 

“Hey! Shouldn’t you be back at the drug store?” You mock-frown, putting your hands on your hips. The dog just wags his tail, pressing his snout forward. Squinting slightly, you notice a piece of paper in-between the dogs jaws. As you notice, he steps closer, pressing the note into your palms.

“Is this for me?” You ask stupidly. What, like the dogs going to answer?

Nevertheless, you coax the note out of the dogs mouth, bringing it closer to your face so you can read it better.

 

_‘Dear the worried looking thirteen year old girl who walked into my shop at two in the morning,_

_This is Becquerel (Bec for short)._

_I saw how nicely you treated him in my store, and how worried and tired you looked. So, I asked him to accompany you for a little while, and to help you out. You looked lonely, as if the weight of the world was crashing down on your little shoulders._

_I would like him to return to me, but I’m sure he will be able to aid you on whatever quest you’re partaking in. It’s dangerous for one such as yourself to be alone at a time like this._

_Good luck. I have a grave feeling that you’ll need it._

_—A concerned shop-owner._

You turn to Bec, a small smile on your face.

“Hey Bec! Think you can help me set up a tent to rest in until the morning?” Bec barks happily in response, picking up your bags in his mouth. He drools on them a little bit, but you don’t mind.

At least you don’t have to do it alone.

 

* * *

 

_Jade, please hurry! We need your help more than ever! We’re running out of food down here, and I’m running out of the PSI power we so desperately need to stay warm._

_I know you’re doing your best, but please…_

_Hurry._

You gasp awake, shaking off the haziness of your dream. Bec’s tail thumps against your side, a little comfort against the threats of your new friends imminent deaths. As much as you like to think on the positive side, sometimes reality sinks its cold, hard grip into you.

Well, as much as you’d like to stay cosy in your sleeping bag all day, you have some friends to rescue. Grumpily, you wiggle out of your cacoon, waking up Bec in the process.

“Sorry buddy! But we’d better get up! We have to hurry if I’m to make it in time to save them!” Bec grumbles at you, but gets up, eager to heed his master’s command in helping you.

You spend the next thirty minutes getting dressed and packing up the tent you put up very early in the morning. It’s shoddily done, which makes it easier to put down and pack away again. You relish in the late morning light, basking in it as you eat a hasty breakfast.

 

One thing you didn’t notice when you set your tent up last night was the lake.

It stretches far and vast, with no way around it that you can see. You know this lake. Everyone in Winters knows this lake. It is known as Lake Tessie by the locals, and it is the largest lake in Foggyland.

There has always been legends of a ‘monster’ living in the murky depths of the Lake. The locals named her ‘Tessie’, after the lake. She is thought of in fear by most, but a select few gather at the shores of the lake, eager to see a glimpse of her serpentine form. These people have been dubbed ‘Tessie Watchers’. And Crazy.

Whenever you got the opportunity, you and Feferi used to play along its shoreline, always daring each other to jump into the frigid waters. Of course you never _actually_ jumped in, that would be suicide!

You know the Snow Wood side of the lake like your own calloused and patchy hands. You know that beyond Lake Tessie, through numerous caves and tunnels lies your grandfathers lab. Your destination.

Now, if only you had some way of crossing the lake!

 

Bec perks up, eyes wide, as if he needs to tell you something.

“What is it boy?” You ask, but Bec is already rushing off towards the lake, pushing past anxious Tessie watchers. He’s followed by many angry yells, some of them yours.

“Bec! Get back here! Bad dog!!!” You yell, hefting your bags onto your shoulders and chasing after the naughty dog. You weave through angry Tessie watchers, shouting apologies as your bags knock them over.

You reach the shoreline, where Bec is barking his head off at a particularly frothy and bubbly spot in the water. Before your very eyes, something begins to rise from the murky depths.

First, a scaly purple lump rises, followed by two friendly eyes and a wide, smiling mouth. The ‘monsters’ long, long neck rises from the water, glistening with beads of water in the morning sun. Finally, her hump rises, water running down her scales like waterfalls.

Is that…Tessie?

She looks at you once, before lowering her neck and nudging you with her snout. Taking the hint, you scramble aboard, slipping and sliding all over her slippery scales. Bec hops on after you, having no trouble at all.

 

Tessie slowly turns around, idly making her way south. Ironically, the Tessie watchers don’t notice as she floats away, instead focussing on looking for Bec.

Seeing as Tessie has so graciously offered you a lift, you take the time to reminisce.

You wonder what Feferi’s doing right now?

She’s probably already up and in school. You don’t have a watch, so you don’t know the time, but due to the position of the sun, you’d say it’s around eleven o’clock. This means she’s probably having recess, eating the gross cafeteria food by…herself.

With a jolt of horrific realisation, you remember it’s her birthday today. Shit. You are the worst friend ever. After everything she’s done for you, you can’t even be around for her special day.

Feeling something snuffling your cheek, you realise it’s Bec, trying to comfort you. You pull him into a tight hug, pressing your nose into his soft fur. He growls a little—but it’s not in an aggressive way or anything. More a comforting way.

You stay like that for however long you have to. You don’t exactly know, but you’re interrupted by Tessie bumping her snout against your back.

 

“Huh? What is it Tess?” You ask, emerging from Bec’s fur. She gestures towards the shoreline, which has miraculously appeared to your side. You can see the cave entrance to your grandfathers lab around a hundred metres away.

“Oh!” You gather up your things and slide down Tessie’s tail, followed by Bec. “Thankyou for the lift Tessie!!!” You beam, but Tessie is already gone, having sunk below the waves.

That was startlingly convenient.

 

You turn in the direction of the cave’s entrance, only to find an iron statue of a pencil blocking your way. Well, it would be blocking your way, if you didn’t just step over it.

You sigh, brushing yourself off of any snow that had gathered on you when you rode Tessie down the lake. You have a feeling your journey is only going to get weirder from here.

 

* * *

 

These caves are certainly weird alright. With only Bec, a makeshift torch you built and glowing crystals to guide you, it’s hard to make out what is exactly in this cave. But the things you have seen are very peculiar.

They aren’t particularly friendly either, which is pretty unfortunate. You actually had to use to handgun Jake leant you!

 

You think you’re getting close to the exit. It’s just a hunch, you have no viable evidence for this. A cluster of Ramblin’ Evil Mushrooms strut towards you. Without a second thought, you whip out Jake’s handgun and pick them off one-by-one as they stumble around.

You don’t know why these mushrooms have legs and are attacking you, but you have a feeling it’ll all be explained soon. Or it won’t be. That’s fine too.

 

Bec barks, drawing your attention to a frayed rope hanging from the ledge above. It’s barely noticeable in the dark cave, it’s even a bit hard to see in the torch light! You’ve seemed to have reached a dead end, so this rope is the only way up.

Gripping your torch between your teeth and adjusting your bags so they won’t fall off, you grip the rope. Summoning all the strength you have, you begin to pull yourself up, using your legs to walk up the rocky wall.

This is just like in gym class, where you have to climb the rope up the wall. Except in gym class, you don’t have heavy bags full of adventuring supplies to drag you down.

Nevertheless, you eventually make it to the top of the ledge, greeted by enthused barks and licks from Bec. You grin, panting. Up ahead you can see the light from the exit. Shaking off the drool Bec has so graciously slathered you with, you stand up.

Taking your torch out of your mouth, you shine it around the room one last time. It’s all normal—a few glowing crystals here and there, a giant, wizened old mushroom, some dingy puddles of water…

Wait, giant, wizened old mushroom?

 

It’s disgusting—with a shrivelled jellybean mouth and dark, malicious eyes. Wrinkles cover its body, giving it a rotted look. Coupled with the disgusting smell, it is truly a foul sight to behold.

Instantly you draw your weapon, narrowing your eyes while Bec growls and snarls, hackles raised. But…something stops you from pulling the trigger. This thing looks pitiful, like a mutilated animal mixed with an onion just pulled up from the earth. You can’t kill this thing.

It gurgles, a little bit of drool running down its lips. You curl your lips in disgust, but keep your torch fixed on the thing as you side-step towards the exit. It may be an abomination, but it could be hiding some hidden strength you don’t know about.

You don’t want to go down by this _thing._ That would be embarrassing. So, you keep your torch on it as you shuffle slowly towards the exit.

Just as you think you’re in the clear, it begins to speak.

 

“They don’t need you, boy.” It spits, voice a hideous, gravelly gurgle.

“Don’t call me boy.” You snap back, pausing at the cave exit.

“Out of the four of you, you will be the weakest. Just a liability.” It continues in that horrible voice it has, ignoring your previous statement.

“Shut up!” You shout. You can’t help it, that things word cut you, and they cut you deep.

“You’re not like them. You’ll never be like them.”

“I said shut up!”

“Poor little Jeff Harley—too immersed in his machines and plants to ever take notice in anything else. To ever make friends. To ever be of use.”

You open your mouth to object, but a nudge on the back of your legs propels you forward. You stagger forward for a few steps, boots once more crunching in the snow. Bec looks up at you with wide eyes that seem to say ‘don’t worry about him, I think you’re perfect!’

 

“Oh Bec.” You sigh, placing a hand on his head and ruffling his shaggy white fur. “You’re such a good dog.” You take a deep breath, clearing your mind of any negative thoughts. That thing was wrong. They _do_ need you. Why else would they call for you?

Smiling at your own positive reinforcement, you look around, ignoring the shouts coming from the cave behind you. The giant rocks that tower above you rekindle some memory deep within you. You must be getting close.

“Come on Bec! Let’s go!” You call, beginning to walk through the strange stones. But Bec doesn’t follow.

“Bec? You coming?” You ask, knowing full well the dog won’t answer. Bec doesn’t move—he just looks at you with sad eyes, and then back north, in the direction of the drug store.

“Oh. You want to go back, don’t you?” You ask, a heaviness in your heart. “Well, I won’t stop you. You must miss your owner, huh?” You crouch down to pat him.

“But, before you go…” You dig inside your coat pocket, pulling out a packet of gum. “To thank you for everything.”

Bec takes it happily, licking you in appreciation. You wrap him up into a tight hug, burying your face in his fur. He licks your ear until you let him go. Then, with one last wag of his tail, he turns around, trotting off into the cave.

“Goodbye Bec! Thanks for everything!” You wave at him until he disappears into the dark depths of the cave. You’ll miss that dog. You hope he’ll be okay.

 

Brushing the snow off your skirt, you stand up. Your grandfathers lab should be close. All you need to do is find it, then convince him to let you fly to Eagleland in one of his inventions. That...shouldn’t be too hard…

But first, you need to do something.

 

* * *

 

You must admit, you haven’t actually met your grandfather. Well, you have, but that was ten years ago, so you don’t exactly remember him.

You don’t know how he’ll react to you. But, from the rumours you’ve from the school staff, his reaction won’t be good. Just in case his reaction is bad, you’ve changed into slacks and tied your hair up, hiding it under your cap. Got to give him a grandson when he expects a grandson, right?

You shift your bags nervously, stomach feeling as if it’s full of wriggling worms. You hate this feeling. You hate pretending to be someone you’re not.

But, if it’ll avoid the drama and help you rescue your new friends, then you’ll do it.

 

With shaky fingers, you rap your knuckles against the heavy metal door. It swings open at your touch, smooth and clean, giving you a wide view of your grandfathers lab.

Your grandfathers lab is very…clean. It almost looks like a hospital! As you step inside, you’re confronted by the beeping and whirring of many, many machines. They’re all so amazing! You can tell a lot of care and effort went into these things. If he’s anything like you, then they would.

In the midst of it all, hunched over vials upon vials of bubbling liquid, is the man you assume is your grandfather. He looks up when you enter, a deep frown on his face.

 

“Leave the door open why don’t you? Just let all the cold air in.” His tone is scathing and sarcastic, making you feel ashamed.

“Sorry!” You squeak, hurrying to close the door behind you.

“Who are you anyway? Coming into my lab like this?” He hasn’t looked up from his workbench at you yet.

“I’m your granddau-son. I’m your grandson, Jeff Harley?” It feels like you’re choking on razors saying that name, but it’s worth it when your grandfather actually looks at you.

“Hmmm. Yes. That seems about right.” He polishes his glasses, before squinting to get a better look at you. “I haven’t seen you in what, ten years? My, you’ve grown. How is school? Are you doing well?”

“I’m passing my classes. I have several friends and I’m not being bullied.” A few white lies, but it’s not like he’s going to notice. “I came all the way down here from Snow Wood because I need to get to Threed, in Eagleland. I know it sounds crazy, but last night I had a dream. In that dream, a girl told me I needed to travel down to your lab and you’ll give me something to fly to Threed. That girl—she needs my help! Please grandfather, can you lend me something? I promise to take good care of it!”

“You can take the Sky Runner, one of my earliest inventions. If you really are my grandson, you should be able to control it just fine.” Grandfather says, pointing a finger in the vague direction of the back of your lab.

“Thankyou very much!” You say, before hurrying away to the darker corners of his lab.

 

Here, it’s filled with a lot of well-oiled and beeping machinery, but you can pick the Sky Runner out fairly easily. It’s slightly dustier than everything else, as if this machine has been shoved aside so grander things can take its place.

This makes you more than a little wary of it, but still, you make your way over to it. Brushing the thick coating of dust off the Sky Runners surface, you open the hatch. Immediately, a thick cloud of dust envelops you, giving you a couching fit.

Once it dies down, you throw your bags inside, crawling in after them. It’s small inside, but bigger than you expected when you looked at the outside. You sit down at the control panel, staring at the numerous multi-coloured buttons as they light up in your presence.

“Hey, Jeff? It was uh, nice to see you again, however short. Maybe we could meet up again in ten years or so?” You can see the faint figure of your grandfather through the hatch of the Sky Runner.

“Yeah, uh maybe. That’ll be nice!” You reply. “Bye grandpa! Thanks for lending me the Sky Runner!”

And with that, and a few presses of a button, the hatch closes and you’re off. Up into the sky you go, according to the beeping monitors on the console. Off to Threed—off on the next step of the biggest adventure of your life.

 

* * *

 

You’re almost there.

This is what you’ve been telling yourself for the past hour or so. You don’t know the time. You don’t have a watch.

You’ve been cramped up in the Sky Runner for hours. You switched the Sky Runners Autopilot on, so you don’t have to fly it yourself. This has given you time to change back into your normal attire. You’ve also refigured some of the materials you brought along in your bag into a nifty little device you’ve deemed the slime generator.

The slime generator rests on your lap as you stare out one of the small windows in the Sky Runner. You know you’ve passed Fourside, and you think you’re somewhere above the Dusty Dunes Desert. Although you’re a Foggylander, so you’re not too good at Eagleland geography.

 

As you watch, the orange sands of the desert shift into dark, ominous purple. You have no idea what the purple things are…maybe trees? They kind of look like tress, despite the different colour scheme.

The Sky Runner flies on, and the purple trees become coated with a thick white fog. The fog looks really bad—you can’t see anything below so how are you supposed to find your friends? You think you’re in Threed, but the fog is too thick to tell.

The Sky Runner slows down, beginning to drift around the fog-filled landscape. Squinting, you can just make out shapes in the fog. Buildings, a few circus tents and a graveyard are just some of the things you can make out.

 

Suddenly, the Sky Runner freezes in midair. It wasn’t going that fast before, but it’s still a shock and you’re jolted a little in your chair.

“Hey!” You cry, siting up straight and leaning over the console. “We’re not there yet! We still need to find them!”

In response to your words, the console lights up and the monitors start to whir and flash. Looking at the monitors, you realise they’re scanning the ground below. You sit in silence, jiggling your leg nervously as the monitors do their work. The pictures on the monitor switch too rapidly for you to get a good look at them. Finally, the monitors stop flashing, and rest on a single image of a graveyard.

“Alright, have you found them? Excellent! Now, all we need to do is fly there and—“

Before you can finish speaking, the Sky Runner hurtles forward. You cling to the armrests in the pilots seat. It’s all you can do to avoid being thrown off. It seems to be zooming in a straight line, with a specific location in mind.

Once again, the Sky Runner screeches to a stop. This time however, you’re thrown off your seat and onto the floor. You lay there for a few seconds, dazed and speechless. Is this thing malfunctioning? Determined to check, you stagger to your feet, leaning over the control panel once more.

“What is up with you?” You grumble under your breath as you check the controls. “You might as well have smashed down through the Earth’s crust to save them! Jesus, land gently nex—“

But it’s too late. The Sky Runner has already taken your words to heart. It beeps—loud and long—giving you some indication on what it’s about to do.

“Oh fuck.” You manage to get out, before the Sky Runner hurtles downwards.

 

You’ll admit, you screamed as the Sky Runner landed. But in your defence, being in a crashing ship is pretty terrifying.

As you ‘land’, you hear a corresponding scream, so you know your fear is mutual. You think you broke the floor when you ‘landed’, but there’s only one way to check.

You gather your belongings and open the hatch. It swings down with a hiss and a cloud of dust, revealing to you the two people you’ve done this all for. They stare up at you, shielding their eyes from the sudden light.

 

The girl is blonde, with a short bob that’s elongated at the front. Her purple eyes seem wise beyond their years, despite the fact she’s probably younger than you. She seems elegant and refined, despite the fact she’s covered in dirt, blood and looks like she hasn’t slept in several days. You’re assuming she’s the one who contacted you.

The boy has the wildest black hair you’ve ever seen—even though half of it is hidden by a red baseball cap. Blue eyes bright with weariness and shock stare up at you from behind thick-lensed glasses. This boy also looks pretty roughed up---even more so than his companion. You see the marks of fading bruises and cuts all over his body.

You jump out of the hatch and land in front of them. “Hi!!!” You chirp to both of them, smiling widely. “I’m Jade!”

“Hello Jade, I’m Rose, and this is John.” Rose smiles back. “Although we all already know each other’s names, don’t we?”

“What?” You frown, cocking your head to the side.

“Oh. John and I have what are known as PSI Powers. They are what allowed me to contact you telepathically.” Rose answers, while John nods mutely beside her.

“Oh. I’m guessing I don’t have that.” For some reason, this makes you feel awkward and insecure.

“No.” Rose agrees, nodding her head. “But you are a nuclear physicist—or an aspiring one anyway. And an excellent botanist and engineer.”

Somewhat touched by Rose’s words, you puff your chest out a little bit. “Yes, I am. Now what can this aspiring nuclear physicist help you with after you summoned her all the way from Winters?”

“We were kidnapped and thrown in here against our will. Rose reckons they’re trying to stop us because they are being controlled by Giygas!” John says, the first words he’s spoken to you.

“Giygas? Who’s that? Nevermind, I’ll ask later. Right now, I’ll deal with this door for you.” You shoot them each a small smile before walking past them, deeper into the cave.

 

The door is extremely rusty, with peeling blue paint and heavy metal bolts screwed into place. This shouldn’t take too long. A bit of oil in the hinges and a good old fashioned kick should do the trick just fine.

You push against the door experimentally with your hand. With a loud, ear-splitting creak, the door opens.

“Are you kidding me?!” You half-laugh, half-cry.

“What is it?” John asks, coming up behind you.

“Both of you are psychic, and none of you checked to notice if the door was actually locked?! Guys, please.” You can’t help but laugh a little.

“Oh.” John blinks. “I feel kind of stupid now.”

“Don’t.” Rose says, appearing at your other shoulder. “It’s good Jade is here. We need her.” She smiles at you, before walking through the open door, wheeling a suitcase behind her.

“Yeah!” John says, eyes lighting up. “Now that you’re here, we can have a third voice in our debates!”

“Debates? Oh, don’t tell me you’re both going to be fighting all the time!” You pout. That would be the _worst_.

“What? No! These are friendly debates! For example, Jade. What’s your favourite Pokémon? Obviously it’s Gengar, but Rose is being delusional and saying it’s Espeon.”

“I’m not being delusional, John’s being an idiot. Espeon is clearly superior.” Rose calls back at the two of you.

“I’ve…never played Pokémon.” You chuckle. John gasps in outrage.

“Jade, what! This is preposterous!”

 

Your name is Jade Harley and even though you didn’t technically need to come here, you’re glad you did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So to clear up any confusion, Jade is trans (and has vitiligo). I tried to do something different than I normally do and as a cis person I hope I did it well? Feedback would be nice.  
> (Her dead name is Jeff bc I think it's a nice throwback, not because of anything else.)
> 
> Leave kudos and reviews if you'll ever break out of boarding school in the middle of the night to rescue two dumbasses who followed a prostitute into a hotel room.


	5. A Sentient Pile of Puke and Numerous Friendly Aliens

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is late! I had exam week and I got pokemon Moon so yeah. I've also got an announcement to make.  
> To all those that have read my previous fics, you'll know I lose interest very quickly. Well, it's happened for this one. I'm sorry guys, but no one seems to like this one judging by the amount of kudos/comments. Compared to my other works, the lack of attention on this one makes me want to stop. It's made me kind of give up on this a bit. I know it sounds selfish, but it's really hard to put yourself out there as an author when you get no comments back. I NEED feedback. As an artist, it helps me grow and develop my writing.  
> I want to keep making this, but due to lack of support, I'm abandoning it. Sorry.  
> I'm also going to try just doing one-shots from now on. They're simpler and will help me with my short story type things.

Your name is Rose Lalonde, and you are fighting a tent. A very angry zombie tent.

In your defence, it attacked you first.

 

John said that he heard of some zombie resistance stronghold in a tent in Threed’s south. You don’t know where he heard this, but it obviously isn’t true.

At least you recovered your knitting needles. They’re much better than using your bare fists. You can even channel your PSI powers through them, which is a neat bonus.

The three of you are standing against the angry Boogey Tent, weapons drawn. You have already made your mark against it—literally. The scorch marks burnt across its left flap is your proud handiwork. The giant gaping hole on the right side of the tent is Jade and one of her Bottle Rocket’s handiwork.

The ground is littered with various down-trodden pranking supplies, from John’s earlier PK Pranks Betas. You must admit, they hit quite hard, but they seem to be quite draining. John seems to be getting tired, his attacks hitting with less power and less accuracy.

The three of you are exhausted—John ad yourself from the days in the cell and Jade from travelling all the way from another country in the middle of the night. You should have just gone to bed, but _no_ John just _had_ to check out this tent, didn’t he.

 

Beside you, Jade lets off another Bottle Rocket, her last one. It crashes right into the Boogey Tents eye, making it roar in pain. If it had hands and a mouth, it would be clutching its eye and swearing its head off right now.

Taking the opportunity in the Boogey Tent’s distraction, you rush forward, brandishing your knitting needles. They crackle with the energy of PK Fire, lighting up the area around you in an orange glow.

Under your direction, the PK Fire surges forward, crackling with power. It hits the Boogey Tent straight in the face. It roars, directing its fury onto you.

You’re thrown backwards by some unseeable force, enveloped in a pale green light. You hit the ground with a loud thump that knocks the wind out of you. You lie there, dazed and exhausted. Whatever that green light was, it’s certainly done something to you. You feel an…absence of something that’s always been there.

In an attempt to no doubt finish you off, the Boogey Tent charges forward. How? You don’t know. But you can’t stop it—or get out of the way in time.

“Oh no you don’t!” John yells. Leaping forward, he grabs one of the tent ropes, digging his heels into the dirt. It does little to slow the charging tent, but it’s the thought that counts.

“Jade! We gotta stop it from reaching Rose! I think it did something to her! She’s not moving! Can you do something?” John yells.

“Already on it!” Jade yells back, voice accompanied by the sound of gunshots.

You hate this. You hate feeling helpless while your friends fight to save you. You hate this stupid tent. You hate the absence you feel in your chest.

The Boogey Tent is somewhat slowed by John and Jade’s bullets, but it’s not enough. You need to get out of the way.

Summoning all the strength you have, you inch out of the way. But it’s not enough. The Boogey Tents salivating mouth is drawing closer. You can feel its hot breath and saliva splatter on your leg. See its rage-filled eyes bulging out at you. Hear the frantic and desperate cries of your friends.

Then, in the nick of time, Jade lands a shot right between its eyes. It halts, before collapsing to the ground with an almighty thump! A rush of air whooshes past you, smelling of sewerage and rotten garbage.

 

You gag, struggling to pull yourself up. John quickly leans down to help, but you brush him off.

“There is something _rank_ in there.” You gasp out, pointing at the tent.

“I got it!” Jade calls, lifting up a flap of the tent. “Need to check that this thing is dead too!” She disappears inside.

“That was…strange.” John begins to help you up again, ignoring your protests. He slings your arms over his shoulder and supports you into a standing position.

“Yes, thanks for that.” You reply croakily.

“Hey! It’s not my fault the tent attacked us!” John protests.

“I never said that.” You reply simply, taking a deep breath. “What do you think it was?”

“What do I think what was?”

“The thing that possessed the tent to attack us.”

“I don’t know. Giygas? They’ve been possessing everyone to attack us.”

“Yes, of course it’s Giygas. But…I have a feeling something else is behind this as well.” You hold your hand up, summoning the familiar surge of PK Fire. But it doesn’t come. That dratted tent—it’s taken your PSI Powers away. At least it’s only temporary.

 

“Hey! Guys! I’ve found the source of that gross smell!” Jade calls, emerging from the tent. In her hands, she holds a sticky golden substance wrapped in cling wrap. It’s buzzing with flies and you can almost see the cartoonish green stink lines wafting from it.

“What is that?!” John’s hand flies to his nose as he looks at the substance in distaste.

“Fly Honey. It will be important over the next few days. We must keep it, despite its disgusting stench.” You say, a brief flash of a vision haunting your senses. Normally it would be clearer, but your PSI was dampened by that stupid tent.

“Well in that case, I dibs not carrying it.” John says quickly.

“Dibs not!!!” Jade replies, even faster than John if possible.

“Well Rose? Looks like you’re carrying it.” John says while Jade holds out the smelly goop.

“But it’s so rude to treat a lady in this manner! Making her carrying the disgusting substance is just unheard of and just rude.” You complain, wrinkling your nose up at the substance. “Besides, I’m sick.”

“Well I don’t have any more space in my backpack!” Jade shrugs, opening up the half-empty bag. “Well…after I make more Bottle Rockets. Which we’ll also need.” She quickly continues.

“Looks like John’s carrying it then.” You shoot a smirk at Jade, who grins back.

“Ah, what? That’s not fair!” John complains, but still taking the gross substance when Jade gives it to him. “I dibsed not doing it first!”

“Rose is sick! You saw that the tent did something to her—we don’t want her to get sicker.” Jade wipes her hands on her skirt, smearing the green fabric with a brownish goo.

“It just disabled my PSI for a little while. Knocked me out of balance but that’s I—“ You start, but quickly stop, retracing. “I mean that’s why I can’t carry it. It’ll make me sicker. May even make my PSI loss permanent.” You’re lying of course, but you’ll do anything if it means not carrying around that goop.

“Let me get this straight. So even though I dibsed not doing it, I still have to carry it?” John asks.

“Yeah.”

“Pretty much.”

John sighs, pocketing the substance. “Okay, we should all get some sleep. Rose is sick and can hardly walk, and Jade, I bet you’re pretty tired from what you did. Which we still haven’t thanked you for by the way. So, thanks.”

“You’re welcome. Now lets go to a hotel, I’m really tired.” Jade comes up from behind you and supports you from the other side.

 

“I don’t need your help! I can walk just fine!” You complain. In unison, both Jade and John slip their arms from your shoulders. You collapse, knees betraying you as you fall face first into the dirt.

“Fuck you.” You grumble, trying but failing to pick yourself out of the dirt. John and Jade scoop you up again, but this time you don’t protest.

“Wow Rose, it’s not ladylike to use such language.” John teases as he and Jade begin to help you back up to the hotel. It’s still dark and foggy out, but you can no longer sense any figures in the fog. Although, that might be your weakened PSI, you don’t know.

“Fuck you John.” You reply, hobbling up the street, friends supporting you as you go.

“Do you two always talk like this?” Jade chuckles a little.

“Talk like what?” John asks, confusion evident in his features.

“Like we just were talking John. With the passive aggressive sarcasm and the ‘fuck you’s’.” You say to help clear that confusion.

“Oh. Isn’t that just how best friends talk?”

“My best friend and I don’t talk like that! Well…sort of. I mean, we both do the occasional jab at each other…but she’s far too nice to say anything like that!” Jade looks off into the distance, green eyes scrunched up in thought. “I should call her…let her know I’m alright.”

“Wait until the morning. There’s a phone at the hotel.” You reassure her, sensing turbulent emotions from her.

“I—yeah. I need sleep. In the morning…”

 

_‘Brr brr. Brr brr.’_

A vibration from John’s pocket draws your attention away from discussion of Jade’s best friend. He stares wide-eyed at the two of you, like a deer in the headlights.

“That’s my phone receiver.” He says dumbly, staring down at his pocket.

“Well, aren’t you going to receive it?” You smile. Next to you, Jade laughs at your joke.

“Oh. Yeah.” He fishes it out of his pocket, bringing it to his ear. “Hello? Oh! Horse Kid! Hi! What? Oh, yeah. Uh-huh. That’s pretty cool! What? You’re sending it now? Wait don’t go—he hung up…”

“That seemed like a mostly one-sided conversation. Horse Kid with a new invention I presume?” You ask, already knowing the answer.

“Yeah. Something called Zombie Paper? He said it’ll be good for attracting zombies and trapping them, so I should put it in a tent?”

“It will arrive in 3…2…1…” You say, not really paying attention to John.

Right on cue, a pizza delivery man appears, holding a large roll of paper under one arm. When he spots the three of you, he immediately heads over. He seems a little spooked by the fog.

“Hey kids, do any of you happen to be John?” He says, leaning down a little to speak to the three of you.

“Um, yeah. That’s m—“ John begins, the delivery man cuts him off.

“Great, Horse Kid told me to give this to John. It’s…zombie paper or something like that. Horse Kids inventions are weird.” He holds up the roll of paper. “But this is way out of my delivery route so…here kid, you take it.”

He shoves the roll of paper at John, who barely manages to catch it in time.

“Here you go kid…I’m getting out of here.” The delivery man says, quivering a little. He turns to go, running up the street and disappearing into the fog.

 

“I um…better set this up.” John holds up the paper, both arms shaking with the effort. “I think the actual tent is near here, so I’ll set it up in there. Hopefully they’ll agree to the plan and all the zombies will be gone by morning. You two should go ahead to the hotel—I’ll meet with you later.”

“Alright.” Jade and you say at the same time. John slips his hand away from around your shoulders. Now your sole supporter is Jade.

“I’ll be back soon! Just…don’t lock me out of the hotel room!” John grins, hefting up the roll of paper to his chest. He does a funny little bow-dance thing before jogging off and into the fog.

 

“Alright Rose, so. Where is this hotel?” Jade asks, shifting you a little bit.

“It should be just up ahead. Although you may want to be careful—last time a prostitute kidnapped us, so…”

“What! And you’re going _back_ there!” Jade exclaims, whirling around to face you. “Of all the stupi—“

“Hey. Hey.” You hold your hands out to shush her before she let’s go of you and you fall again. “It’s fine. We’re big, strong girls, and we won’t fall victim to her again. John on the other hand…” You turn away, scrunching up your nose in thought. “Anyway! It’s the safest and only place in town to sleep.”

“Oh. That…sort of makes sense.” Jade cocks her head to one side, nodding thoughtfully.

“And we paid money to sleep there, so we’d better get our money’s worth. A million prostitutes leading us into our own hotel room couldn’t stop us. Not that we’ll be falling for that again.”

Jade laughs, loud and hard. It sounds like a thousand birds shrieking at the top of their lungs, or a chainsaw backfiring, but you don’t mind. “Right.”

“So, earlier you were talking about your best friend?” You say in a disinterested way, although you feel quite the opposite. You’ve only formally known Jade for a few hours, but you know talk like this will help break the ice.

“Oh! Feferi…” Jade trails off, grin slipping from her face.

“Ah, so that’s her name.” You say, pretending your dreams and visions haven’t told you this since you were little. “What’s wrong? You seem upset.”

“Oh, I’m fine!” She turns to you, a reassuring smile on her face. “I’m just worried about her. She’s definitely going to get in trouble for me leaving in the middle of the night. She’s my roommate, we’re supposed to look out for each other.”

“Why would she get in trouble? She can easily lie and say she never saw you leave. But…there is the problem of police investigations…it would be wise to keep calling her throughout our journey. So she can keep an eye on you, and you can keep an eye on her.”

“I…uh yeah…” Jade trails off, refusing to meet your eyes. “Oh! Hey!” She perks back up. “Isn’t that our hotel?”

 

Through the fog, pointed out by Jade’s bony finger, is the hotel. You let out a sigh of relief, sagging down in Jade’s grasp.

“Finally. I really need sleep.” You straighten your posture, nodding to Jade. “Come on, let’s go. We both need rest.”

She nods back, lips split into a tired grin. “Yeah! I’m so tired! It was only this morning I woke up in the middle of the night to rescue you guys! Or was that yesterday morning…I’m not too sure. I spent a long time in those caves…”

“Okay then…” You say, hobbling a little as Jade picks up the pace.

“At least I had Bec!”

“Bec?”

“The Drug Store owner’s dog! He was very friendly.”

“Why did you have the Drug Store owner’s dog with you Jade?”

“He let me borrow him!” Jade chirps simply, despite the fact that what she just said is not simple.

“Oh. Right. Sure. That makes perfect sense, my apologies.” You say, walking up the steps into the hotel foyer. You take no joy in observing your surroundings, instead guiding a very talkative Jade all the way to your hotel room.

 

Outside your room, one of the hotel staff members greets you with a cheery smile.

“Hello there ma’am and…ma’am…I assume this is your room?”

“Yes.” You stop when Jade stops, pausing in front of the open door. “We’re going to get some rest. We’re very tired.” You say, hoping he takes the hint.

“Well, be careful, alright? Just a few days ago, some guests of ours got kidnapped!”

Although your mother always taught you to be polite to staff, you just want to go to bed. So what you say next is a little snappy, but you’re too tired to ever be polite. “Yes, that was me and my friend.”

The hotel attendants eyes widen in shock, mouth agape. But you are too busy dramatically pushing your way into your hotel room to notice. After walking all the way to your hotel room, you feel a little bit better. In fact, the strange feeling that accompanied the Boogey Tent’s attack is almost gone. When you lift your finger to summon a quick PK Fire, a few sparks burst from your finger.

Smiling in satisfaction, you plonk down on your bed, staring up at the ceiling and listening to Jade’s frantic apologies to the hotel attendant. You don’t know why she’s so sorry, she wasn’t the one that said it. Besides, it’s a hotel attendants job to look after their patrons—which he didn’t do.

 

“So.” Jade says, closing the door behind her. “What are we going to do now?”

“Well, I’m going to have a shower, because I value human cleanliness and hygiene. Then I’m going to bed, because I haven’t had a decent nights sleep in over a week.” You sit back up, regretting it instantly. You hobble to the bathroom, scooping up your pyjamas on the way. “You can get settled into bed if you’d like.”

You head into the bathroom, locking the door behind you. Setting your clothes down on the kitchen sink, you step into the shower, adjusting the taps to your liking. You let out a sigh of relief as the warm water hits your aching, dirty body. You’ve been needing this for days.

You lean your head against the cracked tile wall, rubbing your face with the hotel hand towel. The warm water hits you square in the chest, washing away all the dirt of the past few days.

As you relax, you hear the hotel room door open and a person you assume to be John walk in. “Oh, hey Jade!! Where’s Rose?”

“She’s in the shower.” Comes the muffled reply. You hear the faint sounds of the bed creaking, and murmured conversation. For once, you don’t bother to eavesdrop, instead preferring to get up, out of the shower and get dressed.

 

It’s not long before you join them, slipping under the covers of your musty hotel bed, clean and dry. You let the murmuring of their conversation lull you into a deep, dreamless sleep.

 

* * *

 

Your name is John Egbert, and you can’t believe this invention actually worked.

Well, you didn’t believe it the last time either, so you don’t know why you’re so surprised.

 

You’ve left the girls in the hotel to go investigate last nights handiwork. You would have asked if they want to go with you, but Rose was asleep and Jade was on the phone to Feferi, her best friend.

Despite Rose’s death threats upon waking her up and Jade’s insistence she talks to Feferi, you had a pleasant walk down to the rebellion tent. To your surprise, the fog had lifted, although the skies above are still dark and stormy. You think this strange turn in the weather has something to do with the scene that awaits you in the rebellion tent.

 

Zombies lie stuck to the tent floor, watched by those leading the zombie rebellion. The zombies moan and struggle against the sticky paper that traps them, but to no avail.

You can’t help but feel a little bad for them. Although that feeling is quickly overtaken by pride when the head of the rebellion takes you aside, amazement in her hazel eyes.

“You did it! _You,_ an overweight preteen boy in short-shorts, beat the zombies! After months of their torment, _you_ beat them!”

“Um, yes?” You reply, not sure if her words were meant as a compliment or an insult. “But I had help from my friends.”

“Yes yes.” She waves you off. “Since you and your little friends are such heroes now, can you do us one more favour?” She leans down a little bit, as if talking to a little kid.

“Sure!” You say, ignoring the childish tone in her voice. “What is it?”

“Well, there is a horrendous beast named Mr Belch that lives a little ways north of here. He’s the one sending all those nasty zombies down here, to attack us.”

“Why?”

She chuckles, ruffling your already messy bedhead. “Kids like you shouldn’t know the details of that. Just go out and kill Mr Belch, okay?”

“Um no, I kind of need to know why he’s sending zombies to atta—“

The head of the rebellion smiles, dropping a brightly coloured candy into your hands. “Be a good boy and don’t ask questions. There’s a tunnel to the north west of here, take it and you’ll end up in Mr Belch’s factory.”

“Ok, ok I won’t ask questions. But—“ You begin, but once again, she cuts you off.

“Run along now! Tell your little friends.” She gestures at you to leave, hands nearly hitting you in the face.

 

Taking the hint, you leave, feeling a little humiliated by her words. But you’re still going to do what she asks of you—you never know, it may benefit you later.

Now you just need to gather Rose and Jade and head north, to battle Mr Belch.

 

* * *

 

“So then, he wakes up to this magnificent pink cloud city with seashell houses! When he talks to the inhabitants of this city, he discovers that this is _his_ place. Like a place _meant_ for _him_!” You gasp out excitedly, waving your arms about. Your excitement is only met with blank and indifferent gazes, but you aren’t deterred.

 

Like you promised the head of the rebellion, you’re checking out this Mr Belch. With a bit of stumbling around at first, you found the passage she was talking about in the grave yard. Rather ominous, but Rose says it has a nice touch.

The passage is filled with zombies and Halloween creatures, all determined to eat you for breakfast. Probably.

The only source of light is from Jade’s nifty handmade torch, and the tube lighting that trims the cave wall. It’s pretty creepy in here, and you want to get out as soon as possible.

 

“Oh please John, continue. I’m finding this conversation fascinating.” Rose widens her eyes, and the whites glow creepily in the blue light of the tunnel.

“I’m sensing a little bit of aggression there Rose.” You reply.

“Oh no, really?”

“Yeah! Oh wait no, that was sarcasm, wasn’t it?”

“No John, it wasn’t. At all.” She rolls her eyes, smiling slightly.

“Hey! Quit it you two!” Jade calls out, shining the torch in both of your faces. “Rose, be nice! I happen to be enjoying John’s conversation!”

“Right, like you even know what he’s going on about.” Rose narrows her eyes, holding her hand in front of her face to shield her eyes from the torch-light.

“While it’s true I don’t play video games, and really have no idea what he’s talking about, I still find it fun!” Jade chirps, grin dripping with positivity.

“Alright, so,” You take this as an invitation to continue talking. “After he meets with the queen of the magic pink cloud land, he discovers he must find the eight melodies, to help her feel better. So he exits the cloud land, heading out into reality once more. He comes out just south of Merrysville—just the town he needed to head to next!”

You pause, judging their reactions. Jade looks like she’s trying her hardest to understand, while Rose looks like she’s dreaming up her own pink cloud land. Undeterred, you continue.

“So he travels north, into Merrysville until he reaches the local elementary school. He goes inside—“

“—why?” A gurgly, putrid sounding voice cuts you off. Rose and Jade immediately stiffen up, but you continue talking.

“Well, because…because…I don’t know, but that’s what he does.” You stumble off, frowning a little bit. “Wait a minute!” You swing your gaze downwards, towards the thing that spoke.

 

The thing that spokes to you…looks like a pile of vomit with eyes. As you look at it, a putrid smell reaches your nostrils.

“Oh, that smells so gross!” You cry out, holding your hand over your nose.

“Why thank you.” The pile of vomit says, fluttering its eyes at you.

“No! Ew!” You cry again, taking a step back.

“Don’t worry John, I’ve got this.” Jade pushes past you, a look of determination on her face.

“I um, ok?” You back away, bumping into Rose accidently as you do.

Jade pulls out her handgun, aiming it at the pile of vomit.

“What are you!?” She says calmly, but you can tell from her expression she’s thoroughly disgusted. The pile of vomit just giggles, not answering. Jade shoves the gun roughly in the pile of vomits face.

“What are you? Answer me!”

“I am Master Belch’s number one man…or pile of vomit, whatever you prefer.”

“Alright! Okay! Now, what are you doing here?” Jade asks, frowning and crossing her arms in an attempt to appear tougher.

“I’m _here_ , to stop _you_ from going any further!” The pile of vomits demeanour completely changes. It rears up, advancing on Jade. In a panic, she fires a bullet, which strikes the target with an accuracy you admire whole-heartedly.

Although she clearly hits the pile of vomit right between the eyes, it has no visible effect.

“Ha Ha Ha! Bullets have no effect on vomit!” It shrieks, flinging bits of its body at Jade. She makes an exclamation of disgust, wiping away specks of vomit from her clothing.

“Why you little…” She glowers, clenching her fist.

“Wait, Jade. Let me handle it.” Rose says, a calmness in her voice.

 

She waves a hand and the pile of vomit goes flying, enveloped in a purple light. She steps forward, holding a plastic bag wide open. With no hesitation and ignoring the pile of vomits evil words, she guides it into the plastic bag.

“There.” She says, tying the knot and holding the bag aloft. “I’ll chuck this in the river north of here, and it won’t bother us again.”

“Geez Rose, that’s a bit violent, don’t you think?” You reply, giving the rustling plastic bag a weary look.

“Yes, but you don’t want it to bother us anymore, do you?”

“I guess…”

Jade steps forward, squinting at the plastic bag. “You sure it won’t get out?”

“Quite sure.” Rose’s dark lips quirk up into a smile. “We should get going. There’s a ladder up ahead that will lead us to a very…special place.”

“Special? How’s it special?” You ask, stepping after Rose, Jade following behind you.

“You’ll see.” Rose replies, and you can _hear_ the smirk in her voice. She fumbles against the wall for a bit before curling her delicate fingers around a metal step of a ladder that protrudes from the wall.

 

Wordlessly, she begins to climb up the ladder, clutching the bag of vomit in her hands as she does. You follow her, focusing on the ladder in front of you instead of the two girls above and below you.

Light filters down from above, accompanied by the sounds of a hatch being opened and Rose climbing out of the tunnel. It’s not long before you join her, quickly followed by Jade.

The sound of rushing water fills your ears and you close your eyes, contented. You take a step forward, and another, and another. Marvelling in the feel of the grass beneath your sneakers, you let out a contented sigh.

“John, don’t walk around with your eyes shut like that. It looks stupid.” When you crack open your eyes, Rose is peering back at you.

“But it’s nice here!” You protest, opening your eyes and taking a better look around.

“Yeah, until you trip over a rock and fall face-first into the river.”

Instead of replying to her snarky comment, you decide to ask a question of your own. “Hey, where’s Jade? She was here a minute ago.”

“Oh, she’s gone a little up ahead to dispose of that pile of vomit.” Rose replies offhandedly.

“Oh. Right.” You reply, acting as if that isn’t the creepiest thing you’ve heard.

 

“Hey guys!! I found something really cool!” Jade’s head appears over a duck-shaped rock formation. “Come on!”

“That special place I was talking about before? Jade just discovered the entrance to it.” With that, she turns and walks in Jade’s direction, obviously expecting you to follow. With a little bit of reluctance, you do.

Knowing Rose, this secret place would probably be a shrine to the eldritch abominations above. Or…something like that. You’re not too sure.

When you get there however, you’re surprised to find it’s just a simple cave opening. From the looks and sounds of it, Jade is already inside, torchlight flashing around wildly. Rose is waiting at the opening, but once she sees you, she walks in.

Suppressing a sigh, you follow her.

The cave is relatively short and sparse of enemies. Because of this, the three of you are able to make it outside relatively quickly. Tired of seemingly endless tunnels, you’re relieved to see the wide open sky—even if it is somewhat dampened by the small valley walls around you.

The grass is soft beneath your sneakered feet, and you can hear faint chattering in the distance. It sounds warbled. Not human, but not entirely inhuman either.

As you walk down the valley path, the chattering gets louder. It grows and swells, and you the distinct feeling of being watched overtakes you. But the watchers don’t feel malevolent—in fact, they feel…friendly? In all your adventure, you’ve never felt this way.

 

“Guys! Come look at this!” Jade beckons you over. You and Rose appear at her side, intrigued. “Have you ever seen anything like it?”

She’s pointing at a series of strange symbols carved out of the rock. It looks as though it has been written by quite a young child with the amount of looping swirls and crooked lines you can see.

“Yeah, some weird symbols. What of them?” You shrug. Jade fixes you with an annoyed look, adjusting her glasses.

“They’re not just weird symbols John! It looks like ancient writing! Writing from an ancient, extra-terrestrial civilisation!” Jade exclaims, throwing her hands up in the air.

“You mean _aliens_ left this here!!!???”

“Yeah, most likely! Although what alien could have done this…?” She trails off, holding her hands over her chin.

 

“Hi ho!” A strangely warbled, yet friendly voice calls out. “Me Mr Saturn! Who you be?”

The three of you whip around to see a rather…odd creature looking up at you. It’s pretty big, coming up to Jade’s waist (and she’s the tallest of the three of you). A bulbous nose and a rather chubby tan body give the Mr Saturn a friendly and unassuming look.

“My name is Rose Lalonde, and these are my friends, John Egbert and Jade Harley. We mean you and your people no harm.” Rose speaks up for the first time in a while, smiling pleasantly.

“That good. Bad man take us away. We were many, now we few. If you are friend, come. Follow me! Doing!” Mr Saturn chirps in the adorable voice of his. Waiting until he sees you follow him, he jogs off, looking back every few seconds to make sure you’re following him.

You follow, with a stunned, but not unpleasant silence. The valley is nice, a pleasant breeze wafting over you. You notice a few more creatures similar to Mr Saturn peering over the edge of the cliffsides. Mr Saturn leads you through an opening in the Cliffside, into a valley filled with quaint little buildings.

“Here is Saturn Valley. Where Mr Saturn live. Doing!”

“Oh. It’s very, uh…”

“Quaint.” Rose finishes for you.

“Yeah that.”

 

The village is rather quaint, if you do say so yourself. Which you didn’t, that was Rose who said that.

Small metal buildings dot the landscape, painted pastel pinks and yellows. Strange and brightly coloured flowers dot the landscape, painting a peaceful, picturesque scene.

“So you all…live here?” You ask as Mr Saturn leads you towards one of the strange pink houses.

“All Mr Saturn. All live here. Saturn Valley is only safe place now. Bad man take us all away. Boing!” Mr Saturn nods sadly. “Come.”

He waddles inside the building, obviously expecting you to follow. “Rest here before go. Stay night. Need good sleep.”

“But we need to con—“ Jade begins, but Rose elbows her in the ribs, cutting her off.

“We’d love to, thank you for your hospitality.”

Mr Saturn nods, contentedly turning to the Mr Saturn-shaped chair in the centre of the room. It looks like you’re staying the night in this strange, alien village?

 

* * *

 

Your name is Jade Harley, and you are on your way to battle a massive pile of vomit.

After spending the night in Saturn Valley, you discovered more about Mr Belch. And learnt what Mr Belch has done to the Mr Saturns.

 

Mr Belch sent his henchmen to kidnap Mr Saturns, to make them slaves in his Fly Honey Factory. From what the remaining Mr Saturns have told you, he hurts them—making his little vomit minions whip them into submission. (You’ve seen a few of these Mr Saturns around the factory, tied up and miserable) He sent the zombies into Threed for unknowable, horrible reasons.

The three of you are heading into his factory, ready to take him down and make him pay.

 

The tunnels are twisting and sticky with slime. Everything smells of the disgustingly familiar smell of vomit. It fills your nostrils, making you gag and your throat dry.

“Come on guys! We’re nearly at the centre of his lair!” You encourage your teammates, calling to them with an optimistic smile on your face. You’ll always try to remain optimistic—even in these trying times.

“Yeah I know!” John calls back, voice a little distorted from how far away he is. “I can see him!”

“Really!?” You gasp, running ahead to look.

Indeed, there Belch is, in all his puke-stained glory.

 

You don’t really know how to describe a sentient pile of vomit, other than it being…a sentient pile of vomit. Its bulging eyes stare at you intently, staring into your very soul.

“So children…you made it…” It gurgles, voice sounding like nails scraping down a chalkboard.

“To what?” John asks, while you and Rose both draw your weapons simultaneously.

“Your destruction!” Belch yells, sending forth a tidal wave of vomit.

 

Rose leaps forward, barely managing to knock John out of the way in time. They go skidding across the vomit covered floor, yelling all the way. Gritting your teeth, you dodge the wave of vomit and begin shooting.

Despite the fact it does nothing, you continue shooting. At least your bullets seem to be making him flinch. But, like all guns, you run out of ammo.

Belch surges forward, no longer held back by your rain of bullets. But he doesn’t surge towards you—he surges towards Rose and John, who are still lying on the floor.

Rose manages to dodge it but John…

John…

His body is completely consumed by Belch, drowned in the vomit. You faintly hear desperate gasping, coughing and spluttering and then?

Nothing.

 

“He’s…gone…” Rose stares at the spot John once occupied with wide, horrified eyes.

“Yes he is!” Belch cries out, exhaling a bunch of stinky gases. “Isn’t that hilarious?”

“YOU BITCH!” You yell, fury overtaking you. You aim your gun at Belch before realising it is empty. You settle for throwing the gun right between Belch’s eyes, which isn’t as satisfying when you first had the idea. “YOU KILLED HIM!”

Rose is still staring at the spot John was, but at the sound of your voice she looks up. Knitting needles in hand, Rose leaps towards Belch. She jumps higher than she normally would, aided by her PSI power. Needles crackling with PSI Thunder. Teeth gritted in determination. Clothes covered in blood, sweat and vomit. Eyebrows knitted together in anger and concentration, Rose plunges her knitting needles into Belch’s eyes.

With a mighty thud, Belch falls, spraying a wave of vomit everywhere.

 

You wade through the vomit, over to John’s corpse. You’ve won, but at what cost? You’ve freed the Mr Saturns and Threed townsfolk from their oppressor, but…John’s dead.

His corpse is covered in vomit—so much you can’t see the original colours of his body and clothes. You collapse beside him—thick vomit coating your clothes—and pull his body out of the vomit. A few tears leak out of your eyes, but you don’t bother to wipe them away.

You’ve only known this boy for a few days, but he’s still one of your friends. To have him so cruelly taken away from you is just torture.

But upon further inspection, he doesn’t seem like a dead body. Well…not what you’d expect a dead body to look like. He just looks like he’s unconscious. You thought dead bodies had more bloating and excreting bodily fluids. Not…this.

“Jade, he’s not dead.” Rose’s hand lands on your shoulder, calm and soothing like always.

“Rose, he’s not breathing. He drowned in vomit.” You chuckle through your sobbing.

“Well, yeah. I mean he is dead right now, but if we hurry, we can bring him back.”

“How?”

“Pick him up, and follow me.”

 

You obey, wasting no time in picking John’s vomit soaked body and lugging it over your shoulder. You follow Rose into the tunnel that Belch was blocking with his enormous mass.

The tunnel is surprisingly well-lit and vomit-free. Many different Mr Saturns watch as you pass them by, a gentle forlornness in their childish gazes. The atmosphere is solemn and heavy—and it feels as if you are carrying a coffin down an aisle of sobbing family members.

Rose’s head is held up high, as if she’s trying not to cry. She leads you through the straight tunnel, although you do not need guidance. When you reach the exit, she strides on through, seemingly not caring that you’ve ended up in Saturn Valley again.

You pause to take in the sights—you’ve been here before, but not this specific place before—but Rose ushers you towards a pink-tinted hot spring.

“Alright, chuck him in.”

“What, in there?” The water Rose is gesturing towards does not at all look healthy for John’s condition. It’s pastel pink for god’s sake! Normal, healthy water is not pastel pink.

“Yes in there. Do it, we don’t have much time!”

 

Shrugging, you chuck John’s body into the water. The water splashes up onto your clothes, washing them clean of all the vomit and dirt they’ve accumulated over the last few days. John’s body sinks into the pond, leaving little bubbles in its wake.

“Wait for it…” Rose holds her hand up in front of you, staring intently at the pond. “Wait for it…”

Holding your breath in anticipation, you stare at the pond, waiting for something, _anything_ to happen.

Just as you’re about to give up, John’s head breaks the surface, gasping for air. Water runs down from his hair like rivers, but his grin is as wide as a canyon and his eyes are shining as bright as the sun.

“Welcome back.” Rose smirks. John switches his gaze between you and Rose in quick succession.

“Yeah.” He replies finally, emerging fully from the water. “Good to be back.”

Man, you really don’t get these psychics.

 

* * *

 

“Yes! We did it! The Third Your Sanctuary Location is ours!” John shouts, pumping his fist in the air and nearly dropping the Sound Stone.

After John was revived, and you were all clean of vomit and other icky substances, you headed off in the direction of the Milky Well. Yes, you know that sounds dirty.

After defeating the Trillionage Sprout, John claimed the sanctuary for himself. The melody was hauntingly beautiful, reminding you of long days gone past.

“Yeah, we did.” You grin back at him, grabbing Rose and John into a big hug. “We did it…”

 

It’s not until later, when you’re lying in bed back in Saturn Valley that it finally hits you. You’re going on a crazy adventure with your two best friends—and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man, I seem to kill John a lot. I'm sorry man.
> 
> Leave kudos and reviews if you like Mr Saturn!

**Author's Note:**

> Writing this has made me realise how dark this game is. Jesus fucking Christ, buckle up kiddos, its only gonna get darker from here. (just wait until dave gets his arms and legs voluntarily ripped off. that'll be fun.)


End file.
